Any advice?

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RichardA76

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I may have missed it somewhere..... How old is the daughter?

12+ they become involved by the judge. Otherwise custody agreement is binding and he is across state lines so that makes it more trouble for him. I cannot even move more then 75 miles from my ex without an agreement drawn up with SHARED custody let alone full custody.

Best to you guys on this adventure

Side note- my 6 year old became my son at 2 years old :)
 

Chibellie

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Yes, she is 12 as of May 2015. Yes, the judge does become involved at this age. This is why I think my dad has his dirty fingerprints all over this. My ex really doesn't want to raise her. He told me so years ago. This might have possibly changed. I don't blame a guy for wanting his kid. Take note: this is the same guy that asked me to get an abortion and now denies ever asking me to do that!

Honestly though, I think I know what I have to do. Despite what others might think, I think letting her go may be the best thing. I can't prove he smoked pot. I can't say for sure I can even use the reason of living in the house with a bunch of men could stop a judge from sending her down there. I have been told stories from those who are friends of mine and Blino's that they went through something similar. Their kid wanted to live with the "Disneyland" parent, the fun one. For one family it only took a month and the kid was already begging to return to the custodial parent. For another it was a semester. One parent I talked to this evening said she made her kid stay with dad (noncustodial parent) for two years! She told her kid, you made your bed now you stay in it! She took her back after the two years was over and the kid never again complained about wanting to live with the other parent--the grass was not greener! In each situation the Disneyland parent quit being fun when the kids had to come to stay to live with them. I think this is what she needs.

Be careful what you wish for--you just might get it!

I am going to talk to a few more people before I make my final decision; Blino wants me to talk to some elders in our church as well. I will make my final decision after that.

As to my parents, all contact will end with them. They can not respect boundaries, particularly that of our authority over our own children. If it's not done their way, you're not doing it right is their attitude and I am sick of it. I've tried to give them a chance to mend the relationship and they have no desire to change their ways. They have no desire to admit when they've done wrong. So, it's goodbye.
 

Chibellie

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Also another thought on letting her go--if I were to fight and win, and she had to return, I don't want to inflict her resentment and discontent upon our young sons. I definitely get the vibe that she would be very angry and would take it out on everyone around her. I know she wants to live down there, this has been an ongoing thing long before her brothers and my marriage to Blino; she's been saying it since about 6 or 7. Back then though it was wanting mommy and daddy to get back together again. Now within the last year or so she has changed her tune to just wanting to live with Texas dad. Her Texas family is quite rich and can afford more, so I don't blame her for wanting to go. I just don't want her to be surprised when he pawns her off on his family all the time and doesn't spend the time with her he does now when he doesn't get to see her as much.
 

Rooster1971

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Wow, that is messed up.

I'm sorry if my comment came off as brash, but I'll be damned if someone besides the child's mom or a judge is gonna sway me from doing what's in the best interests of my child's well being.

What if your old lady kicked you to the curb, and the next thing you know some other swinging dick wanted to interject his ass in you and your kids business? I'm sure you'd be just fine with it.

I hope the best works out for the kid and y'all. These things can be very difficult. Be there to support your wife. Give her lots of hugs, she'll need them.
 

Shootin 4 Fun

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WTF!?

I don't even want to know what kind of weird **** you people are into, but Arkansas is to the east.

A real parent doesn't give a fat fawk what it takes to protect their child, they figure it out, they don't consider giving the child up because it would make life a little easier. If that's your attitude, maybe your daughter would prefer to live with her father where she isn't considered a burden.

As far as the pot use and sexual choices, unless he's involving the child it has nothing to do with his ability to raise a child.

The story about your parents is odd, whats up with that? Are they concerned about your ability to provide a healthy environment for the kid?
 

Chibellie

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Sorry, I've had a lot to deal with. I do just want to do what is best for my child. I've been talking to other parents that have been in my shoes and their advice was to let the child go and figure it out for themselves that living with the other parent isn't always Disneyland. It's not that I want to make my life easier necessarily. It's that I want her to see that when you go to live at Disneyland, you eventually become a park employee--hence, it isn't as fun to be there anymore. The grass may be greener, but it still needs mowing...

My parents are control freaks and they're flat out scary evil people. They've already taken me to court once for something that doesn't exist: grandparents rights (Insert meme here: I don't think it means what you think it means....) and LOST. As part of their losing the case, we made a deal with them to lessen the court costs and they also can't appeal the case. They can't bring forward a new one because of double jeopardy. I am now waiting for my ex to let our daughter go to them...and then I am going to nail all of their asses to the wall with kidnapping! Three evil birds with one stone aka contempt of court and child kidnapping. I still have custody, I have not signed over anything and will not sign over anything now that I know what my ex is playing at. They have no leg to stand on with what they are trying to claim in court. My only fear now is how in the world we would pay for this if it does end up going to court. But yes, I will fight for my daughter. She might not be happiest living with us, and having to put up with 3 brothers under 3 years old, but tough cookies. Her needs are met with us and we do fun things with her when we are able.

It'd be a Jerry Springer episode if there were swinging fists and chairs...hasn't got to that point yet mercifully.

My ex keeps being vague about when he is putting her into school down there and which one. I'd love to nail him right now with kidnapping, but then my parents would still be at large. I want them all to get it for this. He says his so-called council or attorney is telling him to not return her, to not tell me anything, etc. If he does in fact have a real attorney and he isn't just talking to my dad (who likes to think he's one, but is not) then I want to see him lose his bar or whatever it is that lawyers are stripped of when they've told someone to do something illegal. He hasn't filed anything which is a big sign to me that my parents are pulling the strings on all this--they'd like to keep it out of court.
 

Chibellie

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When I said I know what my ex is playing at, that means I know he means to send her to my parents for two years...oh hell to the no. She is not going to those abusive people. They are verbally, emotionally and even physically abusive people. These are the same people that when I was 16 years old, my dad picked me up and shook me violently demanding I apologize to my mom for something that I don't even remember what for. I just remember that she was in the wrong and I wasn't going to give in. Keep in mind that I was the compliant child growing up, my brother was the hell raiser. During that same argument my father had grabbed me by the jaw and squeezed so hard I thought my lower jaw was going to shatter. They are emotionally abusive in multiple ways I won't go into right now; I could write a whole book on it.

This is why I will not send my daughter to live with them alone. They don't like the fact that I have told they can not have my daughter alone anymore--I never said they couldn't see her. Just not alone. They tried to turn it into me saying they couldn't ever see her in the court case with them. That will change this time around. I will say they can't see her now. I'll take out a VPO on them if I have to. They can not be trusted; they've proven this on multiple occasions. These people have no patience for tutoring my daughter. They traumatized her the first time around when I lived there before I married Blino.
 

Chibellie

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Also, I should mention my ex's time with her has officially run out. The two weeks before school ended last Saturday at 6:00 PM. She was supposed to start her new home school year Monday, August 17. School in Texas starts August 24, next Monday. I expect that is either when he is going to send her to my parents behind my back or actually enroll her in a Grand Prairie school, since they're supposed to be better than Duncanville schools right now.

If any LEOs :police2: or legal folks on here have any advice to give me, I am all ears. I want to get this done right. I want my daughter back and I want them to pay for this betrayal. Thank you for any help in advance!
 

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