Never squat with yer spurs on.
Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob
Smith! He's hiding drugs inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no drugs. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, Buddy."
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob
Smith! He's hiding drugs inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no drugs. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, Buddy."
Two Arkansas rednecks are out hunting and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground...
They approached it and are amazed by the depth of it. The first Hunter says, "Wow,that's some hole.I can't even see the bottom. Must be an old mine shaft. I wonder how deep it is."
The second Hunter says,"Well,let's grab that old transmission over there and throw it down in the hole and we'll see how long it takes to hit the bottom."
So they pick it up and carry it over and count one, two, and three and throw it in the hole.They're standing there listening and looking over the edge when all of the sudden they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation jump in headfirst.
While they are standing there looking at each other, and looking in the hole dumbfounded, and trying to figure out what that was all about an old farmer walks up and says, "Say there, you fellers haven't seen my goat around have you?"
One of the hunters replies,"Funny you should ask... We were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doing about a hundred miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here."
"That's impossible."the old farmer said."I had him chained to a transmission."
They approached it and are amazed by the depth of it. The first Hunter says, "Wow,that's some hole.I can't even see the bottom. Must be an old mine shaft. I wonder how deep it is."
The second Hunter says,"Well,let's grab that old transmission over there and throw it down in the hole and we'll see how long it takes to hit the bottom."
So they pick it up and carry it over and count one, two, and three and throw it in the hole.They're standing there listening and looking over the edge when all of the sudden they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation jump in headfirst.
While they are standing there looking at each other, and looking in the hole dumbfounded, and trying to figure out what that was all about an old farmer walks up and says, "Say there, you fellers haven't seen my goat around have you?"
One of the hunters replies,"Funny you should ask... We were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doing about a hundred miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here."
"That's impossible."the old farmer said."I had him chained to a transmission."
Last edited:
LMAO!
That's Redneck humor right there.
I laughed out loud on that one. I came back later, read it again, and I'm still chuckling
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.
