‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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LightningCrash

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
News in Brief • guns • violence • News • ISSUE 50•21 • May 27, 2014

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ISLA VISTA, CA-In the days following a violent rampage in southern California in which a lone attacker killed seven individuals, including himself, and seriously injured over a dozen others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Tuesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said North Carolina resident Samuel Wipper, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this guy from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what he really wanted.” At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past five years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.”

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Spata

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Defnestor

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First, define "economically advanced" countries. I assume we're going to disregard the rampant bloodshed in the rest of the 196. Second, produce reliable crime statistics from those "economically advanced" countries. Then we'll talk.

The upside is, the way we're going, the U.S. won't be "economically advanced" much longer.
 

LightningCrash

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First, define "economically advanced" countries. I assume we're going to disregard the rampant bloodshed in the rest of the 196. Second, produce reliable crime statistics from those "economically advanced" countries. Then we'll talk.

The upside is, the way we're going, the U.S. won't be "economically advanced" much longer.

Do you feel the reporter is ignoring other countries where gun violence regularly happens?
 

Dale00

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The Onion appears to be making fun of Americans for being so dumb that they cannot even conceive of gun control as possible. That's it, isn't it? Am I missing something here?
 

n2sooners

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What's funny (or scary) is it's hard to tell the difference between their satire and it's made up statistics and stories the mainstream media runs. If you keep an eye out, you'll probably see some anti gun politician using this story as a source and/or quoting those stats.

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Glocktogo

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Do you feel the reporter is ignoring other countries where gun violence regularly happens?

Yes. I also take issue with the fact that you called the author a "reporter". Reporters don't routinely headline their stories with lies. Further, the inference is that we somehow lack the will to do something about gun violence, when the truth is much more complex. We lack the intelligence to do the right thing, preferring the coward's way. Freedom is dangerous. For those who don't have the stomach for it, there are plenty of countries they can emigrate to that do away with that pesky issue. If they want their cake and want to eat it to, then perhaps they should focus on the root cause, rather than one of the symptoms?
 

71buickfreak

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Yes, because England and their complete lack of freedom regarding guns has made their country totally safe from murder. Nobody ever uses knives or bombs there. ever. in the history of the UK has there ever been a bombing. Definitely not in the 80s. or 90s. or 2 years ago.


FYI, this is an ONION story, it is fake. there is no reporter, it was written by a guy in his undies at 3 am in his mom's basement. See also Mad magazine, Cracked magazine.
 

LightningCrash

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Yes. I also take issue with the fact that you called the author a "reporter". Reporters don't routinely headline their stories with lies. Further, the inference is that we somehow lack the will to do something about gun violence, when the truth is much more complex. We lack the intelligence to do the right thing, preferring the coward's way. Freedom is dangerous. For those who don't have the stomach for it, there are plenty of countries they can emigrate to that do away with that pesky issue. If they want their cake and want to eat it to, then perhaps they should focus on the root cause, rather than one of the symptoms?

Which countries should be mentioned? I wonder why he didn't bring them up. Is the frequency statistic the reporter mentioned incorrect?
 

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