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<blockquote data-quote="Chibellie" data-source="post: 2776373" data-attributes="member: 30958"><p>Yes, she is 12 as of May 2015. Yes, the judge does become involved at this age. This is why I think my dad has his dirty fingerprints all over this. My ex really doesn't want to raise her. He told me so years ago. This might have possibly changed. I don't blame a guy for wanting his kid. Take note: this is the same guy that asked me to get an abortion and now denies ever asking me to do that!</p><p></p><p>Honestly though, I think I know what I have to do. Despite what others might think, I think letting her go may be the best thing. I can't prove he smoked pot. I can't say for sure I can even use the reason of living in the house with a bunch of men could stop a judge from sending her down there. I have been told stories from those who are friends of mine and Blino's that they went through something similar. Their kid wanted to live with the "Disneyland" parent, the fun one. For one family it only took a month and the kid was already begging to return to the custodial parent. For another it was a semester. One parent I talked to this evening said she made her kid stay with dad (noncustodial parent) for two years! She told her kid, you made your bed now you stay in it! She took her back after the two years was over and the kid never again complained about wanting to live with the other parent--the grass was not greener! In each situation the Disneyland parent quit being fun when the kids had to come to stay to live with them. I think this is what she needs.</p><p></p><p>Be careful what you wish for--you just might get it!</p><p></p><p>I am going to talk to a few more people before I make my final decision; Blino wants me to talk to some elders in our church as well. I will make my final decision after that.</p><p></p><p>As to my parents, all contact will end with them. They can not respect boundaries, particularly that of our authority over our own children. If it's not done their way, you're not doing it right is their attitude and I am sick of it. I've tried to give them a chance to mend the relationship and they have no desire to change their ways. They have no desire to admit when they've done wrong. So, it's goodbye.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chibellie, post: 2776373, member: 30958"] Yes, she is 12 as of May 2015. Yes, the judge does become involved at this age. This is why I think my dad has his dirty fingerprints all over this. My ex really doesn't want to raise her. He told me so years ago. This might have possibly changed. I don't blame a guy for wanting his kid. Take note: this is the same guy that asked me to get an abortion and now denies ever asking me to do that! Honestly though, I think I know what I have to do. Despite what others might think, I think letting her go may be the best thing. I can't prove he smoked pot. I can't say for sure I can even use the reason of living in the house with a bunch of men could stop a judge from sending her down there. I have been told stories from those who are friends of mine and Blino's that they went through something similar. Their kid wanted to live with the "Disneyland" parent, the fun one. For one family it only took a month and the kid was already begging to return to the custodial parent. For another it was a semester. One parent I talked to this evening said she made her kid stay with dad (noncustodial parent) for two years! She told her kid, you made your bed now you stay in it! She took her back after the two years was over and the kid never again complained about wanting to live with the other parent--the grass was not greener! In each situation the Disneyland parent quit being fun when the kids had to come to stay to live with them. I think this is what she needs. Be careful what you wish for--you just might get it! I am going to talk to a few more people before I make my final decision; Blino wants me to talk to some elders in our church as well. I will make my final decision after that. As to my parents, all contact will end with them. They can not respect boundaries, particularly that of our authority over our own children. If it's not done their way, you're not doing it right is their attitude and I am sick of it. I've tried to give them a chance to mend the relationship and they have no desire to change their ways. They have no desire to admit when they've done wrong. So, it's goodbye. [/QUOTE]
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