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The Water Cooler
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<blockquote data-quote="Cohiba" data-source="post: 2031847" data-attributes="member: 2550"><p>Trying to remember a few my old grandad would say out in the pasture or in the horse barn.</p><p></p><p>Damn it to hell!!!</p><p></p><p>(bad smell) Who sh1t their pants!!??</p><p></p><p>About as obvious as a diamond in a goat's azz.</p><p></p><p>Neater that sliced bread</p><p></p><p>Hotter than a June bride on a feather bed.</p><p></p><p>Slicker than snot on glass.</p><p></p><p>Busier than a three peckered billy goat.</p><p></p><p>Happier than a coon dog during mating season.</p><p></p><p>Mean as a bobcat.</p><p></p><p>When he was drinking whiskey....especially if it was cold outside...he would call his whiskey antifreeze. Hand me my antifreeze.</p><p></p><p>When someone was bragging or thought they were a little better than everyone else...he would say...They got their big boy pants on.</p><p></p><p>Me...to my wife. You're pretty good for my first wife.</p><p></p><p>My wife to me: After me, you won't be able to afford a second wife..... Both were jokes to each other..at least I hope my wife meant that...a joke.</p><p></p><p>Last, when I hear my wife YELL this across the house....I head for the hills, a bar, or somewhere away from her. It usually means she found out about another gun purchase, something I broke, something I tried to fix...with her saying for me to get an expert to fix it...usually the husband stuff:</p><p></p><p>Holy Mother of God!!!!! When I hear my wife say that....I exit the property!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Cohiba</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cohiba, post: 2031847, member: 2550"] Trying to remember a few my old grandad would say out in the pasture or in the horse barn. Damn it to hell!!! (bad smell) Who sh1t their pants!!?? About as obvious as a diamond in a goat's azz. Neater that sliced bread Hotter than a June bride on a feather bed. Slicker than snot on glass. Busier than a three peckered billy goat. Happier than a coon dog during mating season. Mean as a bobcat. When he was drinking whiskey....especially if it was cold outside...he would call his whiskey antifreeze. Hand me my antifreeze. When someone was bragging or thought they were a little better than everyone else...he would say...They got their big boy pants on. Me...to my wife. You're pretty good for my first wife. My wife to me: After me, you won't be able to afford a second wife..... Both were jokes to each other..at least I hope my wife meant that...a joke. Last, when I hear my wife YELL this across the house....I head for the hills, a bar, or somewhere away from her. It usually means she found out about another gun purchase, something I broke, something I tried to fix...with her saying for me to get an expert to fix it...usually the husband stuff: Holy Mother of God!!!!! When I hear my wife say that....I exit the property!! Cohiba [/QUOTE]
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