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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Snattlerake" data-source="post: 3993459" data-attributes="member: 44288">My God, there are so many!  I could fill a book.While a deputy in Barber County Kansas, I was stopped by a dump truck driver driving for a local construction company.  Yes, I said I was stopped by him.  He explained he had been complaining to the bosses that he was during a death trap of a truck.  It had no brakes, no headlights or tail lights, no brake lights, no clearance lights, and his tires had absolutely no tread.  He wanted me to write him tickets on his truck to get it fixed.  He was giddy and laughing while he took me on a guided tour around his truck.  I wrote 13 "fix it" tickets totaling around $25,000 in fines and court costs.  I never found out the outcome but the truck wasn't worth $10,000 let alone $25K.______________________________________________ One day shift I received a call about a woman screaming. I was just around the block from the call so I parked and jogged to the caller's address. As I was approaching I could hear a woman screaming.  I advised dispatch I verified the initial call and was attempting to contact.  No one else was available in the area.Gun drawn, I identified myself and continued to hear screaming. I kicked in the front door after no response to my yelling. More screaming. I follow the screaming to the bathroom and the screaming is coming from the inside with the door locked. Identified myself again and she stopped screaming and yelled “Get in! here now!”I kicked in that door and saw a naked woman standing on the toilet lid jumping from one foot to the next trying to stay in the middle of the lid. Then I saw it, a small, brown, furry, wet, arm between the seat and bowl trying to claw at the woman’s feet. I grabbed a towel for the woman and she wrapped herself and I lifted her off the toilet down to the floor. (I don’t think it took her three steps to get out the front door.) I lift up the toilet seat and rescue a drowning squirrel.------------------------------------------------I received a dispatch to meet a mailman at the entrance to Wal Mart. I parked next to his mail truck and he gave me a wallet he had found in the driveway of the store. I thanked him and took it back to the PD. We had all kinds of identification of the same person in the wallet. Numerous credit cards and picture ID's. We of course ran the person NCIC. Well, guess what, he was an army deserter.We notified the army provost marshal and they indeed requested we keep the deserter under lock and key until they arrived.  THey faxed the court and us the necessary paperwork and said The transporting MP's would be leaving as soon as we called again.  I contacted the owner of the wallet who lived about 3 hours away. He had been frantic to find his wallet and thanked me profusely stating he was "getting in the car right now." We told him to bring another form of picture ID or birth certificate with him to properly ID when he arrived. He said he already had it with him and again was "leaving now."I called the MP's back who were only 2 hours away.Long story short. The MP's arrived and were having coffee in our breakroom when the owner of the wallet walked into the front desk to claim it.It was beautiful.  We had him step into the jail intake area where we properly identified him and gave him his wallet. Then the MP's walked around the corner and arrested him. His face went from elated to OH Sh**! in 1.2 seconds.</blockquote>

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