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The Water Cooler
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Grandma In Court
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<blockquote data-quote="KillShot" data-source="post: 1368947" data-attributes="member: 15018"><p>Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they are not prepared for the answer.</p><p></p><p>In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"</p><p></p><p>She responded, "why yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, You've been a big disappointment to me. You like, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. yes, I know you."</p><p></p><p>The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"</p><p></p><p>She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've know Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."</p><p></p><p>The defense attorney almost died.</p><p></p><p>The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "if either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KillShot, post: 1368947, member: 15018"] Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they are not prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "why yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, You've been a big disappointment to me. You like, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've know Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "if either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair!" [/QUOTE]
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