Separate names with a comma.
Welcome to Oklahoma Shooters Association! Join today, registration is easy!
Discussion in 'Stupid Stuff' started by Annie, Sep 1, 2017.
I hear someone screaming.
That's the last time I buy duct tape at the dollar store.
A 16 year boy down in Southeast Oklahoma on the Arkansas border gets married to his 16 year old sweetheart and they go on their honeymoon over to Hot Springs, AR. The next day he is back and goes over to his dad’s place.
When he gets there his dad says, “Son that sur nuf was a quick honeymoon, by the way where’s your bride.” I killed the Bi**h!” “Son, what in heaven’s name would do somethin’ like that fer?”
“Pa, she were a virgin.”
“Well I’ll be dern if that ain’t that the s**ts. Hell I killed the B***h too! If she weren’t good enough for her family, she dern sure weren’t good nuf for ours”
A country gal in Nebraska calls the local sheriff’s department and when the dispatcher answers she screams,” I’ve been raped, I’ve been raped” Sheriff’s dispatcher tells her to calm down and provide some details and asks her if she got a good look at who raped her?
She replies, “I was bent over getting laundry out of the laundry basket, getting ready to hang clothes on the clothes line and I did’nt have my panties on and this guy sneaks up behind a rapes me.”
Sheriff’s dispatcher,“ Well can you tell me what he looked like?”
“No, but I know he was a farmer.”
“How do you know that”
“Well, first he complained it was too dry, and then he complained it was too wet, and then he drove off in a fancy brand new four wheel drive pickup!”
Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"The guy says, "Martini."The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"The guy says," 168."The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"The guy says, "Martini."Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?"The guy says, "100."The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.He goes back into the bar.The robot says, "What will you have?"The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Biden?"
I've heard a similar joke, but it's different guys with descending IQ's, and the last guy is a Sooner football player. After he says 50, the robot starts singing Boomer Sooner.
A man kicks a bear in the balls
Published on May 10, 2007
THE BIDENS GO OUT FOR DINNER(from another forum)
The Biden’s are seated together at a very nice restaurant and the waiter comes over to take their orders:
He says to Mrs. Biden, “Good evening Dr. Biden. Have you decided on an entrée?”
“Yes,” she replies. “I’ll have the New York strip, medium rare.”
“Very good,” says the waiter. “And for the vegetable?”
She answers, “Oh!, He’ll have the same!”
A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mom, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters!
‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’ ‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ The following day, the girl says to her mother. ‘Mum, today we measured our chests in class and mine is the largest! Is that because I’m blonde?’ ‘No darling, that’s because you’re 18.’