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Kids and rock concerts...
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<blockquote data-quote="nofearfactor" data-source="post: 1460755" data-attributes="member: 1535"><p>Well,he did get grounded (by me) and he knows why,and gladly he's ok with it as he knows why and isnt mad at me for doing what I should do as a parent. We had a good talk before they went to bed. I didnt tell my wife this morning before she left for work and I probably should have,but she is so strict with him that he most likely would be grounded from everything for quite a while. So this will be our little secret,unless his sister decides to rat us out. I took away his XBox for the weekend(death to a kid) and Im not taking him down to our farm to ride motobikes and shoot today or tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>I do take alot of the blame though. He happened to catch me while I was out in my shop working late on a order for a customer to ship out Friday and I lost track of the time he was gone until about 2a and realized he wasnt back yet or hadnt called on the landline. I screwed up also by not wanting to be 'that parent' by calling and bugging my kid at 2am in front of his friends. (I did go in the house to find my cell when I realized it wasnt in my pocket to see if he had called it. I looked at my cell and sure enough I did get texts here and there saying all was ok,but my cell was in the house, on vibrate. Another screwup of mine. It should have been in my pocket like it usually is. He figured I got the texts and all was cool. He only called the landline at 3:30a because he hadnt heard back from me yet. The ringer in the wifes bedroom we turn off so she isnt bothered while sleeping). Yaa,the curfew I know about but I figured with all of the concert hoopla that it would be ok. If I would have got a call on the landline right after the concert (he has a cellphone) like he should have done telling someone what they were going to be doing afterwards then it all might have been ok. </p><p></p><p>Their ride home was pre planned here at the house by the kid bringing them home afterwards,an 18 yr old neighbor and a former boyfriend of my daughters who is straightedge and a pretty good kid,but the kid he picked to go with him his momma is really strict and she had to be the one to drop them off and they lied to her about the ride home,etc,as he was spending the night here after the show. I feel bad about that but shes more strict than my wife and his friend never gets to do anything without momma being right there. My wife would surely have killed me and him too if she knew how he got home and when. </p><p></p><p>He is a good kid though and works hard at school and with his athletics. I guess I just wanted to let him have a little freedom. The wife keeps such a tight grip on him most of the time. At 14 the kid is almost 6' tall,190lbs or so,lifts weights,has a black belt in his martial arts since he was 10, and is now working with a boxing coach. Hes no match for a gun or a knife but the kid has street smarts and can handle hisself if he had to so I figured he would be ok out with older teens. And he gladly isnt like I was at all at his age. I was a street rat growing up in San Diego at his age. if I wasnt playing the guitar in bands I was at the beach surfing or skateboarding and was usually always out at all hours. And not making the best decisions(smoking,alcohol,vandalism,etc).</p><p></p><p>Still. He did play me on my friendship with him. Im only his stepfather but I did adopt him when he was 10. His father was a friend of mine who died when he was really young so Ive been the one male figure to be there for him since Ive been with his mother- more than half of his life. She is the one who usually tells him what he can and cant do,and doles out his punishments because with my work and other business stuff I am gone alot. The concert without parental supervision has now become a onetime thing. Until he gets a little older. If it had gone well there would have been more freedoms later. I just felt since they had been cooped up the last 2 weeks with no school and the weather he deserved a little freedom. I figured wrong.</p><p></p><p>In hindsight I should have put business on hold and gone with him and most likely with my contacts I could have got them backstage for at least a meetngreet. I just had a deadline to get an order ready to shipout today and couldnt. (I build custom guitar rack rigs and a touring guitarist was waiting on me to ship his rig so he can get to work). Ive taken him to alot of shows. The last show I took him too was Slipknot when they were in town their last tour. Ive known them since the old days back in Des Moines way before they got big. My co guitarist and our old singer in my band were original Slipknot members. We got to go to the radio meetngreet and then see the show from the backstage area while hanging out with them. Same as when The Crystal Method or some other acts come to town that might have old friends in the bands that I know.</p><p></p><p>Anyways. Lessons were learned. This parent thing is on the job training with me. Especially with a boy. I have daughters but they all live with their mothers in other states and while I see them as much as I can and fly them here as much as we can its still not 24-7 parenting like I am doing with the 2 here. My stepdaughter is 18 and about to graduate and she was easy,she almost raised herself and never gave us any trouble at all. Shes leaving after graduation to spend a year with the Peace Corps or something like that before she goes to college. But with a boy I guess I have my job cut out for me the next 4 years.</p><p></p><p>Thanx for all of the parenting tips. I'm gonna need em it looks like.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nofearfactor, post: 1460755, member: 1535"] Well,he did get grounded (by me) and he knows why,and gladly he's ok with it as he knows why and isnt mad at me for doing what I should do as a parent. We had a good talk before they went to bed. I didnt tell my wife this morning before she left for work and I probably should have,but she is so strict with him that he most likely would be grounded from everything for quite a while. So this will be our little secret,unless his sister decides to rat us out. I took away his XBox for the weekend(death to a kid) and Im not taking him down to our farm to ride motobikes and shoot today or tomorrow. I do take alot of the blame though. He happened to catch me while I was out in my shop working late on a order for a customer to ship out Friday and I lost track of the time he was gone until about 2a and realized he wasnt back yet or hadnt called on the landline. I screwed up also by not wanting to be 'that parent' by calling and bugging my kid at 2am in front of his friends. (I did go in the house to find my cell when I realized it wasnt in my pocket to see if he had called it. I looked at my cell and sure enough I did get texts here and there saying all was ok,but my cell was in the house, on vibrate. Another screwup of mine. It should have been in my pocket like it usually is. He figured I got the texts and all was cool. He only called the landline at 3:30a because he hadnt heard back from me yet. The ringer in the wifes bedroom we turn off so she isnt bothered while sleeping). Yaa,the curfew I know about but I figured with all of the concert hoopla that it would be ok. If I would have got a call on the landline right after the concert (he has a cellphone) like he should have done telling someone what they were going to be doing afterwards then it all might have been ok. Their ride home was pre planned here at the house by the kid bringing them home afterwards,an 18 yr old neighbor and a former boyfriend of my daughters who is straightedge and a pretty good kid,but the kid he picked to go with him his momma is really strict and she had to be the one to drop them off and they lied to her about the ride home,etc,as he was spending the night here after the show. I feel bad about that but shes more strict than my wife and his friend never gets to do anything without momma being right there. My wife would surely have killed me and him too if she knew how he got home and when. He is a good kid though and works hard at school and with his athletics. I guess I just wanted to let him have a little freedom. The wife keeps such a tight grip on him most of the time. At 14 the kid is almost 6' tall,190lbs or so,lifts weights,has a black belt in his martial arts since he was 10, and is now working with a boxing coach. Hes no match for a gun or a knife but the kid has street smarts and can handle hisself if he had to so I figured he would be ok out with older teens. And he gladly isnt like I was at all at his age. I was a street rat growing up in San Diego at his age. if I wasnt playing the guitar in bands I was at the beach surfing or skateboarding and was usually always out at all hours. And not making the best decisions(smoking,alcohol,vandalism,etc). Still. He did play me on my friendship with him. Im only his stepfather but I did adopt him when he was 10. His father was a friend of mine who died when he was really young so Ive been the one male figure to be there for him since Ive been with his mother- more than half of his life. She is the one who usually tells him what he can and cant do,and doles out his punishments because with my work and other business stuff I am gone alot. The concert without parental supervision has now become a onetime thing. Until he gets a little older. If it had gone well there would have been more freedoms later. I just felt since they had been cooped up the last 2 weeks with no school and the weather he deserved a little freedom. I figured wrong. In hindsight I should have put business on hold and gone with him and most likely with my contacts I could have got them backstage for at least a meetngreet. I just had a deadline to get an order ready to shipout today and couldnt. (I build custom guitar rack rigs and a touring guitarist was waiting on me to ship his rig so he can get to work). Ive taken him to alot of shows. The last show I took him too was Slipknot when they were in town their last tour. Ive known them since the old days back in Des Moines way before they got big. My co guitarist and our old singer in my band were original Slipknot members. We got to go to the radio meetngreet and then see the show from the backstage area while hanging out with them. Same as when The Crystal Method or some other acts come to town that might have old friends in the bands that I know. Anyways. Lessons were learned. This parent thing is on the job training with me. Especially with a boy. I have daughters but they all live with their mothers in other states and while I see them as much as I can and fly them here as much as we can its still not 24-7 parenting like I am doing with the 2 here. My stepdaughter is 18 and about to graduate and she was easy,she almost raised herself and never gave us any trouble at all. Shes leaving after graduation to spend a year with the Peace Corps or something like that before she goes to college. But with a boy I guess I have my job cut out for me the next 4 years. Thanx for all of the parenting tips. I'm gonna need em it looks like. [/QUOTE]
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