The simple answer is that they are a physically different size and not interchangeable because of that. As far as lifespan goes.. if properly stored the lifespan is almost indefinite. I've got primers from probably the 60s or earlier I still use.
As noted above they are physically different sizes. The large pistol primers are used for very specific calibers like 45ACP and 10mm. Small pistol primers are used in almost everything else.
I just recently finished using the last of the Large Rifle primers I purchased during the first politically motivated shortage that I went through - during the Clinton Regime in the early 90s. Primers were almost impossible to find, and when found were rationed, much as today.
I have loaded ammo from back in the late 80s, and shoot it occasionally. Never a misfire.