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LOLz!!1
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<blockquote data-quote="ez bake" data-source="post: 2227184" data-attributes="member: 229"><p>April 30th: </p><p> Just got transferred with work into our new home in Oklahoma!! Now this is a place that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here. </p><p></p><p> May 13th: </p><p> Really heating up. Got to 90 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper. </p><p></p><p> May 30th: </p><p> Had the backyard landscaped with beautiful green grass. Lots of trees and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. </p><p></p><p> June 2nd: </p><p> The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected. </p><p></p><p> June 5th: </p><p> Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. </p><p></p><p> June 8th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3, 000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Whiskettes and dead cat. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. </p><p></p><p> June 10th: </p><p> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow dryer!! And it's hot&#8230;. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts. </p><p></p><p> June 12th: </p><p> Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $450, 000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here? </p><p></p><p> June 14th: </p><p> It's 105 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 80, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 90. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place. </p><p></p><p> June 15th: If I hear another wise crack, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle them. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!! </p><p></p><p> June 17th:</p><p> Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought I was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car smells like burnt hair, burned flesh, and baked cat. </p><p></p><p> June 19th: </p><p> The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this place? Now water rationing so my $2, 000 lawn is drying up. Even the grass can't live in this heat. </p><p></p><p> June 20th: </p><p> Temperature got to 108 today. Now the air-conditioners gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the house payment to bail my out of jail for assaulting the repairman. What kind of a sick demented person would want to live here? </p><p></p><p> June 21st: </p><p> WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are kidding me!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ez bake, post: 2227184, member: 229"] April 30th: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Oklahoma!! Now this is a place that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here. May 13th: Really heating up. Got to 90 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper. May 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with beautiful green grass. Lots of trees and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. June 2nd: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected. June 5th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. June 8th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3, 000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Whiskettes and dead cat. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. June 10th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow dryer!! And it's hot…. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts. June 12th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $450, 000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here? June 14th: It's 105 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 80, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 90. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place. June 15th: If I hear another wise crack, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle them. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!! June 17th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought I was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car smells like burnt hair, burned flesh, and baked cat. June 19th: The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this place? Now water rationing so my $2, 000 lawn is drying up. Even the grass can't live in this heat. June 20th: Temperature got to 108 today. Now the air-conditioners gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the house payment to bail my out of jail for assaulting the repairman. What kind of a sick demented person would want to live here? June 21st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are kidding me! [/QUOTE]
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