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Mean Jokes

Discussion in 'Stupid Stuff' started by gerhard1, Mar 15, 2021.

  1. murphranch

    murphranch Sharpshooter

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    Drew P. Balz has an escrow company near me. I would’ve been so pissed at my parents.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
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  2. rockchalk06

    rockchalk06 Sharpshooter

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    I dated a girl on an off named Alecia Head. She was in such a hurry to get married and change her name...

    And Yes.
     
  3. Snattlerake

    Snattlerake Sharpshooter

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    I was a dispatcher fresh out of high school when the undersheriff walks in and sees the local trooper sitting on his desk. He motions me to the other room and asks me if I still have the Blackcats I took off one of the inmates yesterday. I get back to my desk and hand him three Blackcats. He sits down at his desk and twists the fuses of the three firecrackers together. You can see where this is going right? He sticks those Blackcats under the trooper's butt and lights them then leans waaaay back in his chair.

    Blam! Blam! BLAM! Mr. trooper jumps up three feet into the air like a poked Armadillo turning in mid air drawing his gun at the same time. When he lands he realizes he's been had because all five of us in there are laughing our asses off. Embarrassed, he sheepishly says, "Well, you have told me several times not to sit on your desk." "I finally got the message."
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2021
  4. Snattlerake

    Snattlerake Sharpshooter

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    My cousin had a best friend in Midwest City by the name of Dick Seamens. We were all playing football at the MWC Bombers playground and being a farm boy I told my cousin what semen was. Poor Dick, Their relationship was tarnished a bit after that day.
     
  5. RickN

    RickN Sharpshooter

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    I went thru boot with a guy named Vincent David Clapp. I would have killed my parents.
     
  6. druryj

    druryj Administrator Staff Member

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    Way back when I was a young enlisted Marine, we'd paint drunk, passed out guy's fingernails and toenails with M-Nu. It was this black paint stuff in a little bottle like nail polish, it was used to touch up your black rank insignia and EGAs. Worked great on drunk's nails too.

    Of course, we short sheeted many a rack too. It's especially funny to put a push-broom head down at the foot end so when the drunk Marine would be trying to figure out WTH was wrong with his rack, he'd shove his soon to be M-Nued toes against that fuzzy broom head and yowzer!
     
  7. thor447

    thor447 Sharpshooter

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    I used to be in a bowling league that had a guy named Richard Wiggler. Seriously.
     
  8. MacFromOK

    MacFromOK Sharpshooter

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    Back in the '80s-'90s there was a financial advisor with a radio talk show in the DFW area (KRLD maybe?).

    His name was Benjamin Dover.

    I find humor in a lot of stuff, but I can't imagine doing that to a kid. :/
     
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  9. John6185

    John6185 Sharpshooter

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    We used to put salt in someone's bed int he barracks and the last time we short-sheeted someone's bed we anxiously awaited the name-calling and yelling that was sure to transpire but it never did, the guy just stuck his feet through the sheet and sacked out.
     
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  10. El Pablo

    El Pablo Sharpshooter

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    Hooked a tube and bellows up to a cat we had to dissect.

    Made touch powder (nitrogen trioxide) in chemistry. I stuck it many places while still wet around the school. The next morning was fun.

    Opened a few cartons of milk, hid them in someones room behind drawers, etc over xmas break in the dorms. He was the guy that annoyed everyone on the floor.

    Had a room mate in college that would set an alarm for 6 am then hit snooze until 9 am. I didn't have any classes until 11 am. After a week of asking him to stop it, I filled up the trashcan with ice. Stuck it next to my bed, and informed him the next time he hit snooze, I was going to dump it on him. He hit snooze at 6 am the next morning, was wide awake and never hit again shortly after 6 am.

    Won't claim the rest
     

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