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<blockquote data-quote="Snattlerake" data-source="post: 3530395" data-attributes="member: 44288"><p>Leave it to [USER=15054]@swampratt[/USER] !</p><p></p><p></p><p>One of life's little experiences I will thoroughly enjoy telling the rest of my life. </p><p></p><p>The story of Swampratt</p><p>I remember when I had about 4 tons of river rock I was a givin away fer free ta th first person ta come and git it. Well now I had strung out 2 X 12 boards on the ground because we had just had a little snow and it was still a bit soggy soes a big ol 3/4 ton pickup could drive inta th back yard real easy like and then we could throw rocks inna back end and then drive right out just cleaner than all getout. That's what I had planned anyway.</p><p></p><p>Well, this ol redneck boy come over and showed up inna rattle can painted camouflaged Teeota. An it weren't no pickup it were a COROLLA! That ol boy was nicknamed [USER=15054]@swampratt[/USER] and he knew me as [USER=44288]@Snattlerake[/USER] and we get together every now and then and trade lies and swap stuff. Ol Swampratt told me his truck was broke down and he had this or a Geo Metro and didn't want to bring that cause he didn't want to break his seats. </p><p></p><p>Thinking to myself, he's gonna make a few trips to get alla this rock I asked him are you planning on gettin it all or taking a lot of trips? He said, "I think it'll all fit, I have overloaded a van I lifted 4 inches" , (I can't remember what he said), "down to the snubbers and it ran down the road ok but I had to bend the I beams on the suspension to fix the camber first. I heated the I beams with a torch and used a 20 ton jack to bend them."</p><p></p><p>Astonished, I said well I was going to help you load this stuff but I don't want to put rock in that car in a placed you don't want it. I'm guessin you have a loading strategy and I don't want to screw it up and have to have you adjust it later down the road.</p><p>Ol swampratt said, "That's fine, I'm gonna try to get all the rocks in the middle of the car" as he was tearing off a chunk of oil stained cardboard from the piece he put down on the front passenger seat, "I don't want to get my seats dirty."</p><p></p><p>Ol swampratt proceded to load that old three hundred thousand plus mile Teeota to the gills with river rock. I'm not talking about baseball sized rock now, I'm talking foot to two foot by 6 inch sized chunks! He has loaded about half my big pile into the front and back seat area, back seat removed, with rock, and my wife's little Doberman / Pomeranian dog comes out and stomps the ground growling at [USER=15054]@swampratt[/USER], scraping the grass with his little half inch paws like a miniature Spanish fighting bull throwing up little blades of dead grass. </p><p></p><p>Hoodie, is unsure of this thing in the back yard and the creature with me. I tell swampratt Hoodie is short for Houdini because he escapes from anything even bad behavior. He'll pee on you and my wife will tell him not to do that again and he will pee on you again. Being my wife's dog and I am second best he shy's from swampratt and comes to me and jumps up into my outstretched arms. I lift up the little six pound Doberman and he sits in my arms while swampratt continues to load rock unknowing I have just saved his Teeota's tires and his shoes from being peed on. </p><p></p><p>I'm holding Hoodie and swampratt has all but finished loading the rock telling me he had plans to build a raised garden bed with the rock. I point to my feeble attempts at a raised bed telling him I plan on using the area we just cleared to build another one. He said his wife complains because all the time he's bringing home rocks for projects. </p><p></p><p>Swampratt tells me to pick up the boards because he doesn't want a board to scrape off his muffler driving out. I say ok, I mean he has got ninety-five percent of the pile into a Teeota Corolla. I tell him I'm goin to move my truck out of the way so he can drive out using the driveway instead of jumping the curb. </p><p></p><p>I walk out of the back yard and see my neighbors across the street gawking at the sight of a 300K mile cammoed Teeota scraping my backyard Bermuda and driving down the driveway. I tell her he's picked up tons of river rock in the car and their mouths are scraping the grass like that Teeota.</p><p></p><p>That ol Teeota scoots right out of the backyard slicker than owlsh!t on a greased fencepost. I bid him farewell and tell him to unload that car before he turns in for the night or he'll probably have 4 blown tires when he wakes up. He agrees and we say see yas a few times and he leaves, sparks flyin behind him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snattlerake, post: 3530395, member: 44288"] Leave it to [USER=15054]@swampratt[/USER] ! One of life's little experiences I will thoroughly enjoy telling the rest of my life. The story of Swampratt I remember when I had about 4 tons of river rock I was a givin away fer free ta th first person ta come and git it. Well now I had strung out 2 X 12 boards on the ground because we had just had a little snow and it was still a bit soggy soes a big ol 3/4 ton pickup could drive inta th back yard real easy like and then we could throw rocks inna back end and then drive right out just cleaner than all getout. That's what I had planned anyway. Well, this ol redneck boy come over and showed up inna rattle can painted camouflaged Teeota. An it weren't no pickup it were a COROLLA! That ol boy was nicknamed [USER=15054]@swampratt[/USER] and he knew me as [USER=44288]@Snattlerake[/USER] and we get together every now and then and trade lies and swap stuff. Ol Swampratt told me his truck was broke down and he had this or a Geo Metro and didn't want to bring that cause he didn't want to break his seats. Thinking to myself, he's gonna make a few trips to get alla this rock I asked him are you planning on gettin it all or taking a lot of trips? He said, "I think it'll all fit, I have overloaded a van I lifted 4 inches" , (I can't remember what he said), "down to the snubbers and it ran down the road ok but I had to bend the I beams on the suspension to fix the camber first. I heated the I beams with a torch and used a 20 ton jack to bend them." Astonished, I said well I was going to help you load this stuff but I don't want to put rock in that car in a placed you don't want it. I'm guessin you have a loading strategy and I don't want to screw it up and have to have you adjust it later down the road. Ol swampratt said, "That's fine, I'm gonna try to get all the rocks in the middle of the car" as he was tearing off a chunk of oil stained cardboard from the piece he put down on the front passenger seat, "I don't want to get my seats dirty." Ol swampratt proceded to load that old three hundred thousand plus mile Teeota to the gills with river rock. I'm not talking about baseball sized rock now, I'm talking foot to two foot by 6 inch sized chunks! He has loaded about half my big pile into the front and back seat area, back seat removed, with rock, and my wife's little Doberman / Pomeranian dog comes out and stomps the ground growling at [USER=15054]@swampratt[/USER], scraping the grass with his little half inch paws like a miniature Spanish fighting bull throwing up little blades of dead grass. Hoodie, is unsure of this thing in the back yard and the creature with me. I tell swampratt Hoodie is short for Houdini because he escapes from anything even bad behavior. He'll pee on you and my wife will tell him not to do that again and he will pee on you again. Being my wife's dog and I am second best he shy's from swampratt and comes to me and jumps up into my outstretched arms. I lift up the little six pound Doberman and he sits in my arms while swampratt continues to load rock unknowing I have just saved his Teeota's tires and his shoes from being peed on. I'm holding Hoodie and swampratt has all but finished loading the rock telling me he had plans to build a raised garden bed with the rock. I point to my feeble attempts at a raised bed telling him I plan on using the area we just cleared to build another one. He said his wife complains because all the time he's bringing home rocks for projects. Swampratt tells me to pick up the boards because he doesn't want a board to scrape off his muffler driving out. I say ok, I mean he has got ninety-five percent of the pile into a Teeota Corolla. I tell him I'm goin to move my truck out of the way so he can drive out using the driveway instead of jumping the curb. I walk out of the back yard and see my neighbors across the street gawking at the sight of a 300K mile cammoed Teeota scraping my backyard Bermuda and driving down the driveway. I tell her he's picked up tons of river rock in the car and their mouths are scraping the grass like that Teeota. That ol Teeota scoots right out of the backyard slicker than owlsh!t on a greased fencepost. I bid him farewell and tell him to unload that car before he turns in for the night or he'll probably have 4 blown tires when he wakes up. He agrees and we say see yas a few times and he leaves, sparks flyin behind him. [/QUOTE]
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