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The Water Cooler
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My son dropped a bomb on me yesterday
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<blockquote data-quote="THAT Gurl" data-source="post: 3409967" data-attributes="member: 45551"><p>You know how I feel about God. I have my reasons that explaining to you won't help you understand.</p><p></p><p>You don't know me but there are plenty here who do who will tell you I'm the kindest old woman you will ever meet -- until you DELIBERATELY cross me. Then I have no problem burying you and all you love alive.</p><p></p><p>I said all that to say I came from a religious family. Grandfather was a preacher; grandmother a preacher's wife; mom a preacher's daughter. Dad's side was active in their church. Worst argument I ever had with my family was after my brother threatened to burn my youngest son's baby doll. Yep. You heard me right. He had a baby doll. Why, you ask?? Because all my kids were curious about babies and I thought it was important for them to learn that there was more to being a good dad than going to work and playing ball with a kid already in grade school. MEN need to be involved with their children through it ALL -- not just the fun stuff. </p><p></p><p>Anyway my brother thought he was saving my boys from turning out gay. I had a FIT. Told my brother and my parents that I simply did not care who my children fell in love with as long as that person provided them a stable, loving SAFE home.</p><p></p><p>Your son is becoming an adult. And with that comes some very bad demons he will have to battle. It is not your place to do anything other than SUPPORT him in those choices. He already KNOWS how you feel. Clearly he is afraid of what he has experienced. BUT ... We ALL know teenagers' hormones are legendary. I can remember a couple of 14 year old boys who would get hard if there was the slightest breeze ...</p><p></p><p>Do what you guys do as a strong, loving family. Pray for strength to overcome what YOU see as obstacles in your lives. Pray for the health and safety of those you love. Pray for your nation. But for Pete's sake please do not pray (at least within earshot of your son) for deliverance from what is something he cannot control. tR idiot said it best -- everyone has something they need help with. Certain behaviors are more destructive than others -- but those behaviors are NEVER something someone chooses to be.</p><p></p><p>So ... My advice is to love him, pray for him (and with him if he so wishes), but NEVER forget he needs your love and support more than ever now. Your condemnation or disapproval will most likely drive him away (I had absolutely no relationship with my parents for more than a decade before they both passed because they could never stop condemning me for mistakes I made in my teens) and make it even more difficult for him to make his way in this world. He needs your love and support. He already knows this disappoints you. Don't make him fear you as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="THAT Gurl, post: 3409967, member: 45551"] You know how I feel about God. I have my reasons that explaining to you won't help you understand. You don't know me but there are plenty here who do who will tell you I'm the kindest old woman you will ever meet -- until you DELIBERATELY cross me. Then I have no problem burying you and all you love alive. I said all that to say I came from a religious family. Grandfather was a preacher; grandmother a preacher's wife; mom a preacher's daughter. Dad's side was active in their church. Worst argument I ever had with my family was after my brother threatened to burn my youngest son's baby doll. Yep. You heard me right. He had a baby doll. Why, you ask?? Because all my kids were curious about babies and I thought it was important for them to learn that there was more to being a good dad than going to work and playing ball with a kid already in grade school. MEN need to be involved with their children through it ALL -- not just the fun stuff. Anyway my brother thought he was saving my boys from turning out gay. I had a FIT. Told my brother and my parents that I simply did not care who my children fell in love with as long as that person provided them a stable, loving SAFE home. Your son is becoming an adult. And with that comes some very bad demons he will have to battle. It is not your place to do anything other than SUPPORT him in those choices. He already KNOWS how you feel. Clearly he is afraid of what he has experienced. BUT ... We ALL know teenagers' hormones are legendary. I can remember a couple of 14 year old boys who would get hard if there was the slightest breeze ... Do what you guys do as a strong, loving family. Pray for strength to overcome what YOU see as obstacles in your lives. Pray for the health and safety of those you love. Pray for your nation. But for Pete's sake please do not pray (at least within earshot of your son) for deliverance from what is something he cannot control. tR idiot said it best -- everyone has something they need help with. Certain behaviors are more destructive than others -- but those behaviors are NEVER something someone chooses to be. So ... My advice is to love him, pray for him (and with him if he so wishes), but NEVER forget he needs your love and support more than ever now. Your condemnation or disapproval will most likely drive him away (I had absolutely no relationship with my parents for more than a decade before they both passed because they could never stop condemning me for mistakes I made in my teens) and make it even more difficult for him to make his way in this world. He needs your love and support. He already knows this disappoints you. Don't make him fear you as well. [/QUOTE]
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