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Message: <blockquote data-quote="okietom" data-source="post: 2113061" data-attributes="member: 18710">Most families have members with problems like yours. The best way for your brother to become responsible is for him to become responsible. No bail after an arrest. I would get the car out of impound before I would get him out. I have a brother that has been through similar things. If he does go to jail you should visit. He needs to know that his problems are the result of his own actions. When he learns that different actions will keep him free he will change.I have a nephew that is finally starting to learn. He has three children. One is 16 years old and was born when my nephew was 15. My nephew is a binge drinker that won't keep a job.  We are raising his 5 year old son. He has a job as a cook in a restaurant for six months now. It is the longest he has kept a job in the last six years. He is trying to get court costs paid for his AB charges against the little boys mom. Him and her drink and fight and he goes to jail. When he gets out they are drinking together again. They have a four year old girl that his parents are taking care of. He has no Dl and no car. We have even let him live with us some. I know it is enabling but I would give a lot of people a spot on the floor to sleep and share food with them. That is the limit of my enabling. Your Mom needs to at least put a limit on her enabling. Jail is a safe place for someone that drinks and drives. He can't kill himself or some one else.</blockquote>

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