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<blockquote data-quote="forindooruseonly" data-source="post: 3797142" data-attributes="member: 13718">I&#039;m sorry you got the impression I was a dick about it.&nbsp; I wasn&#039;t.&nbsp; I think you are reading more into it than what&#039;s there, based on the fact that I my first post was written from a place of frustration at all the things I&#039;m seeing and how some of my family had not really acknowledged it.&nbsp; Both my siblings are very focused on work and kids, leave relatively insulated lives, and aren&#039;t exactly news hawks.As far as telling them what to do, the way I approached it was along the lines of &quot;here is what I&#039;m seeing&quot; followed by &quot;here is how I am adjusting my behavior accordingly&quot; and then basically &quot;you should consider doing this to lessen the chance of having a problem&quot; because of a variety or reasons, including our own known shortcomings or attitudes.&nbsp; I need to reiterate, none of these conversations were confrontational, but they did involve our tendency to react certain ways - which I need to watch myself just as much as they do - as part of the discussion..And to their reaction, it was positively received. The discussion related to things that they&#039;ve seen or heard about but didn&#039;t really connect to a larger trend, they had written it off as one-time things or as a vague, undefined sense of something amiss but not really as an issue that needed be addressed yet.&nbsp; My brother, any conversation with him needs to be handled with kid gloves, you&#039;d have to know him to understand.&nbsp; But he reacted much the same way - yes, he noticed a change in peoples attitudes and that agreed that it would be best to avoid some situations he would normally charge into.&nbsp; So yeah, I guess I did tell them - but more in the sense of I brought it to their attention that this tension is a real, widespread phenomenon and that certain actions or behavior we engage in isn&#039;t helping rather than &quot;you have to do this or else&quot;. And yes, I count that as advice and suggestions.&nbsp; I&#039;m the youngest and least successful of my family, there&#039;s no way I&#039;m going to be able to boss either of them around, but it&#039;s not going to stop me from telling them what I see and how it pertains to us.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="forindooruseonly, post: 3797142, member: 13718"] I'm sorry you got the impression I was a dick about it. I wasn't. I think you are reading more into it than what's there, based on the fact that I my first post was written from a place of frustration at all the things I'm seeing and how some of my family had not really acknowledged it. Both my siblings are very focused on work and kids, leave relatively insulated lives, and aren't exactly news hawks. As far as telling them what to do, the way I approached it was along the lines of "here is what I'm seeing" followed by "here is how I am adjusting my behavior accordingly" and then basically "you should consider doing this to lessen the chance of having a problem" because of a variety or reasons, including our own known shortcomings or attitudes. I need to reiterate, none of these conversations were confrontational, but they did involve our tendency to react certain ways - which I need to watch myself just as much as they do - as part of the discussion.. And to their reaction, it was positively received. The discussion related to things that they've seen or heard about but didn't really connect to a larger trend, they had written it off as one-time things or as a vague, undefined sense of something amiss but not really as an issue that needed be addressed yet. My brother, any conversation with him needs to be handled with kid gloves, you'd have to know him to understand. But he reacted much the same way - yes, he noticed a change in peoples attitudes and that agreed that it would be best to avoid some situations he would normally charge into. So yeah, I guess I did tell them - but more in the sense of I brought it to their attention that this tension is a real, widespread phenomenon and that certain actions or behavior we engage in isn't helping rather than "you have to do this or else". And yes, I count that as advice and suggestions. I'm the youngest and least successful of my family, there's no way I'm going to be able to boss either of them around, but it's not going to stop me from telling them what I see and how it pertains to us. [/QUOTE]

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