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<blockquote data-quote="THAT Gurl" data-source="post: 3841936" data-attributes="member: 45551"><p>Kendall, I can't be with you and yours as you walk thru this in body, but I most certainly can in spirit. And I believe that we humans have abilities far outside our understanding in that regard. Those abilities do not make us any less Christian, regardless of what some people may think.</p><p></p><p>Your illness has hit Grumpy particularly hard. I'm not telling you nothing you don't already know about having sick and/or dying friends. I think of Paul every day and how many lives he touched and how lucky you and I (and many others) were for him to have called us his friends. I take comfort (and you should also) that it would not surprise me in the least if he was the first person to meet you at the Gates of Heaven. Somehow, someway, he will talk that favor outta Peter and anyone else he needs to. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy :joy:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f602.png" data-shortname=":joy:" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy :joy:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f602.png" data-shortname=":joy:" /> </p><p></p><p>You remember when those meds made me suicidal and bought me a hospital stay until they could get it all sorted out?? Well, right after that tree fell on me and I was pretty banged up and the docs were telling me I was the best I was gonna be (and trust me, it wasn't all that good IMHO) I thought about checking out again. As foreign as those thoughts were to me the first time around, the second time they were ... Well ... I dunno ... "Easier" to consider. I dunno if that makes any sense to anyone but that is just how it's been for me. My biggest fear in this life is that I will become a burden to ANYONE. I'm not having it. </p><p></p><p>But this time I also got to considering how me moving to whatever is next for us would affect those I love. And, though there is only a handful of folks who care, what they would think about me leaving unannounced like that. I don't know that I could do that to Grumpy. To be honest, I don't think he would ever move on from it. Not because I'm special, or easy to get along with or any of that other worldy stuff us humans consider to be important but because I have come to believe that when we lose a loved one a literal piece of our spirit goes with them. We are individuals but we also a part of a much larger ... Uhmmm ... I dunno how to exactly describe it but I feel like we are tied together in the heart and the loss of a loved one is not something we recover from. Especially if they leave us too soon. </p><p></p><p>What I am trying to say -- and many here will think I'm being inappropriate but tough titty -- is as hard as this is for you and your darling bride (and the rest of us who are "just" buddies) I do believe there is a purpose here. Do I know what it is? No -- sorry bud. I'm not that smart. Wish I was. </p><p></p><p>I do believe there comes a point in most of our lives where those that love us should not be angry or hurt should we decide to move on. But I have come to learn through my life experiences that pain and suffering probably shouldn't be the MAIN influencing factor in that decision. So ... Might I suggest when you are having discussions with yourself, and are pondering if maybe now is the time to leave all this behind, try to NOT let your physical pain influence your thought process too much. I know it's a lot to ask giving how much pain I can only imagine you are in right now. And it is hard. Trust me, I know. But also know that you CAN do it -- and your decision when you consider everything else first and factor in the pain last, will leave you much less conflicted. Or at least it has worked out that way for me so far. I don't want to leave anyone any reason to look back on a life lived with me and have regrets or sad memories. I don't want to leave anyone wondering if my passing was somehow their fault, or if they did or didn't do or say something that caused me to decide to leave here. I believe when our work here is done, we will know it. And I also believe that God will not hold it against anyone should they come to the decision that their work here is finished. We have free will. We also have that internal conversation with both the good and the bad in all of us. You will know if your decision, in the end is honorable or not. And any decision made with honorable intent is not a sin. IMHO.</p><p></p><p>Do I still believe in self-determination and the right to end your own life? Oh yes. Most definitely. I just think that in the process of making that decision for ourselves sometimes we focus on the wrong thing (the pain or inconvenience) of how our lives are going at the time. Or the inevitable end that we see coming -- but in all honesty we should ALL feel that way all the time but instead we all feel like we have forever (until we don't. Thanks again Paul. Sigh) until all this "big" stuff is right in front of us ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="THAT Gurl, post: 3841936, member: 45551"] Kendall, I can't be with you and yours as you walk thru this in body, but I most certainly can in spirit. And I believe that we humans have abilities far outside our understanding in that regard. Those abilities do not make us any less Christian, regardless of what some people may think. Your illness has hit Grumpy particularly hard. I'm not telling you nothing you don't already know about having sick and/or dying friends. I think of Paul every day and how many lives he touched and how lucky you and I (and many others) were for him to have called us his friends. I take comfort (and you should also) that it would not surprise me in the least if he was the first person to meet you at the Gates of Heaven. Somehow, someway, he will talk that favor outta Peter and anyone else he needs to. 😂😂 You remember when those meds made me suicidal and bought me a hospital stay until they could get it all sorted out?? Well, right after that tree fell on me and I was pretty banged up and the docs were telling me I was the best I was gonna be (and trust me, it wasn't all that good IMHO) I thought about checking out again. As foreign as those thoughts were to me the first time around, the second time they were ... Well ... I dunno ... "Easier" to consider. I dunno if that makes any sense to anyone but that is just how it's been for me. My biggest fear in this life is that I will become a burden to ANYONE. I'm not having it. But this time I also got to considering how me moving to whatever is next for us would affect those I love. And, though there is only a handful of folks who care, what they would think about me leaving unannounced like that. I don't know that I could do that to Grumpy. To be honest, I don't think he would ever move on from it. Not because I'm special, or easy to get along with or any of that other worldy stuff us humans consider to be important but because I have come to believe that when we lose a loved one a literal piece of our spirit goes with them. We are individuals but we also a part of a much larger ... Uhmmm ... I dunno how to exactly describe it but I feel like we are tied together in the heart and the loss of a loved one is not something we recover from. Especially if they leave us too soon. What I am trying to say -- and many here will think I'm being inappropriate but tough titty -- is as hard as this is for you and your darling bride (and the rest of us who are "just" buddies) I do believe there is a purpose here. Do I know what it is? No -- sorry bud. I'm not that smart. Wish I was. I do believe there comes a point in most of our lives where those that love us should not be angry or hurt should we decide to move on. But I have come to learn through my life experiences that pain and suffering probably shouldn't be the MAIN influencing factor in that decision. So ... Might I suggest when you are having discussions with yourself, and are pondering if maybe now is the time to leave all this behind, try to NOT let your physical pain influence your thought process too much. I know it's a lot to ask giving how much pain I can only imagine you are in right now. And it is hard. Trust me, I know. But also know that you CAN do it -- and your decision when you consider everything else first and factor in the pain last, will leave you much less conflicted. Or at least it has worked out that way for me so far. I don't want to leave anyone any reason to look back on a life lived with me and have regrets or sad memories. I don't want to leave anyone wondering if my passing was somehow their fault, or if they did or didn't do or say something that caused me to decide to leave here. I believe when our work here is done, we will know it. And I also believe that God will not hold it against anyone should they come to the decision that their work here is finished. We have free will. We also have that internal conversation with both the good and the bad in all of us. You will know if your decision, in the end is honorable or not. And any decision made with honorable intent is not a sin. IMHO. Do I still believe in self-determination and the right to end your own life? Oh yes. Most definitely. I just think that in the process of making that decision for ourselves sometimes we focus on the wrong thing (the pain or inconvenience) of how our lives are going at the time. Or the inevitable end that we see coming -- but in all honesty we should ALL feel that way all the time but instead we all feel like we have forever (until we don't. Thanks again Paul. Sigh) until all this "big" stuff is right in front of us ... [/QUOTE]
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