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<blockquote data-quote="KillShot" data-source="post: 1368885" data-attributes="member: 15018"><p>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis,does it affect your memory at all?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Yes.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: I forget.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: How would I know?</p><p></p><p></p><p>___________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?</p><p></p><p>____________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: He's twenty -- much like your IQ.</p><p>__________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?</p><p>_________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Yes.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Getting laid</p><p>____________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Yes.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: None.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?</p><p></p><p>____________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: By death.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Take a guess.</p><p></p><p>__________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with 'a male'..</p><p></p><p>_____________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.</p><p></p><p>_________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Oral.</p><p>_________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.</p><p></p><p></p><p>____________________________________________</p><p></p><p></p><p>And the best for last:</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: No.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: No.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: No.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: No.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?</p><p></p><p>WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive - and practicing law.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KillShot, post: 1368885, member: 15018"] ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis,does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? WITNESS: How would I know? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's twenty -- much like your IQ. __________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. __________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with 'a male'.. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ And the best for last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive - and practicing law. [/QUOTE]
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