Reply to Thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="gunnut" data-source="post: 1823645" data-attributes="member: 2903">Thank you everyone.&nbsp; Lots of good advice.&nbsp; I have been on the mentalhealth.va.gov website a lot this morning.&nbsp; I feel like asking for help is for the weak.&nbsp; But I have this persona of having to be the rock and that interferes with me asking for and receiving help.&nbsp; I am slowly realizing that my thought process is flawed and irrational, but it&#039;s a tedious processes to recognize it and correct it.&nbsp; I do go to work, it is stressful and I have a hard time dealing with the demands of the job.&nbsp; Been thinking about requesting FMLA from work to see if that might improve my depression, either to focus on treatment or trying to treat myself.&nbsp; I do not currently have any financial troubles.&nbsp; The only debt I have is my mortgage and my payments are currrent.&nbsp; But I am at the point where I&#039;m thinking about just walking away from the job and hoping I can start a new life.&nbsp; I can leave the house, but I prefer to stay locked inside where I feel safe.&nbsp; I would not leave my house if I did not have to go to work.&nbsp; I do not socialize and when I talk with people, it is either at work, or online on a forum, like I am doing here.&nbsp; I have a dog.&nbsp; He has been my only true companion.&nbsp; He has saved my life numerous times and I probably wouldn&#039;t be here today if he wasn&#039;t part of my life.&nbsp; I tried to get an appointment with the VA, that was three days ago.&nbsp; I have been told twice that the nurse will get back with me and I leave my contact information.&nbsp; If they don&#039;t care, then why should I even bother?&nbsp; Yes, I am still taking the meds I am on, I have not stopped taking any of them.&nbsp; I do realize that if it gets bad enough I can walk into an ER and get help.&nbsp; I don&#039;t think I am quite there yet.&nbsp; Just trying to figure out how to break out of this severe depression hole I am in.&nbsp; I used to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but now I feel so far down, there isn&#039;t any light coming through the darkness.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="gunnut, post: 1823645, member: 2903"] Thank you everyone. Lots of good advice. I have been on the mentalhealth.va.gov website a lot this morning. I feel like asking for help is for the weak. But I have this persona of having to be the rock and that interferes with me asking for and receiving help. I am slowly realizing that my thought process is flawed and irrational, but it's a tedious processes to recognize it and correct it. I do go to work, it is stressful and I have a hard time dealing with the demands of the job. Been thinking about requesting FMLA from work to see if that might improve my depression, either to focus on treatment or trying to treat myself. I do not currently have any financial troubles. The only debt I have is my mortgage and my payments are currrent. But I am at the point where I'm thinking about just walking away from the job and hoping I can start a new life. I can leave the house, but I prefer to stay locked inside where I feel safe. I would not leave my house if I did not have to go to work. I do not socialize and when I talk with people, it is either at work, or online on a forum, like I am doing here. I have a dog. He has been my only true companion. He has saved my life numerous times and I probably wouldn't be here today if he wasn't part of my life. I tried to get an appointment with the VA, that was three days ago. I have been told twice that the nurse will get back with me and I leave my contact information. If they don't care, then why should I even bother? Yes, I am still taking the meds I am on, I have not stopped taking any of them. I do realize that if it gets bad enough I can walk into an ER and get help. I don't think I am quite there yet. Just trying to figure out how to break out of this severe depression hole I am in. I used to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but now I feel so far down, there isn't any light coming through the darkness. [/QUOTE]

Verification