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The Water Cooler
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Hey you guys derailing the dog thread -- get in here ...
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<blockquote data-quote="THAT Gurl" data-source="post: 4092000" data-attributes="member: 45551"><p>Boy isn't all that just the God's honest truth. My oldest son's father -- who was a friend with benefits, and nothing more -- was also a raging alcoholic. Big part of the reason he didn't clear any serious hurdles with me. My first husband -- same -- raging alcoholic who hung around just long enough to get me pregnant twice. That's not really fair -- he would have stayed as long as I let him. We did love each other, dysfunctional and toxic as we were but they originally thought my 3rd pregnancy was a cancerous tumor, not a baby, and he bolted because he didn't want to get stuck with 2 little boys if I happened to croak on him. Again in all fairness he wanted to come back when we figured out that my tumor was "just" a tumor AND a baby but the damage was done. I have HORRIBLE trust issues and it takes a TON of work to fix it once I'm burned. Ask Grumpy -- bless HIS heart. Lol But David, may he rest in peace, didn't have the fortitude to see it through. And he really didn't have to -- his mom was more than happy to drive that stake right through his heart and mine, and take him back.</p><p></p><p>Years later, I met a woman he worked with. She said that he never dated and had told all his co-workers that his wife and small children had been murdered. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😲" title="😲" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f632.png" /> I was both shocked ... And sad. But we were both young and dumb at the time. And he left the state while I was in the hospital having surgery in my 2nd trimester to deal with the tumor that was there, so I thought he had just moved onto the next gal. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤷" title="🤷" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f937.png" /> Only way to make sure the baby was safe because the tumor was growing faster than the baby was. Estrogen is a hellava drug. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙄" title="🙄" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙄" title="🙄" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙄" title="🙄" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" /></p><p></p><p>Anyway ... Man I have spilled my guts in this thread. I do understand people wanting a life outside work. But our choices (me deciding to keep all my pregnancies instead of running down to NW 23rd and Classen to the abortion clinic, for example) have consequences. </p><p></p><p>I could have just stayed in the projects and continued to get pregnant. Since I was on the Pill every time I got pregnant I'm guessing I wouldn't have had to work too hard at it. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤷" title="🤷" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f937.png" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙄" title="🙄" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙄" title="🙄" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙄" title="🙄" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f644.png" /> At some point, especially if I didn't care about my kids learning any different, I could have stayed flush with WIC and food stamps and AFDC for at least until the last one turned 18 ... <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤷" title="🤷" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f937.png" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤷" title="🤷" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f937.png" /> But what kind of message does that send to my children?? </p><p></p><p>I dunno if I did the right thing but I do know I did the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night -- and that was to work and work hard to take care of the responsibilities that my actions caused me to have. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤷" title="🤷" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f937.png" /> And I hope, in the end, it was enough because my integrity, fragile though it is, is all I really have.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="THAT Gurl, post: 4092000, member: 45551"] Boy isn't all that just the God's honest truth. My oldest son's father -- who was a friend with benefits, and nothing more -- was also a raging alcoholic. Big part of the reason he didn't clear any serious hurdles with me. My first husband -- same -- raging alcoholic who hung around just long enough to get me pregnant twice. That's not really fair -- he would have stayed as long as I let him. We did love each other, dysfunctional and toxic as we were but they originally thought my 3rd pregnancy was a cancerous tumor, not a baby, and he bolted because he didn't want to get stuck with 2 little boys if I happened to croak on him. Again in all fairness he wanted to come back when we figured out that my tumor was "just" a tumor AND a baby but the damage was done. I have HORRIBLE trust issues and it takes a TON of work to fix it once I'm burned. Ask Grumpy -- bless HIS heart. Lol But David, may he rest in peace, didn't have the fortitude to see it through. And he really didn't have to -- his mom was more than happy to drive that stake right through his heart and mine, and take him back. Years later, I met a woman he worked with. She said that he never dated and had told all his co-workers that his wife and small children had been murdered. 😲 I was both shocked ... And sad. But we were both young and dumb at the time. And he left the state while I was in the hospital having surgery in my 2nd trimester to deal with the tumor that was there, so I thought he had just moved onto the next gal. 🤷 Only way to make sure the baby was safe because the tumor was growing faster than the baby was. Estrogen is a hellava drug. 🙄🙄🙄 Anyway ... Man I have spilled my guts in this thread. I do understand people wanting a life outside work. But our choices (me deciding to keep all my pregnancies instead of running down to NW 23rd and Classen to the abortion clinic, for example) have consequences. I could have just stayed in the projects and continued to get pregnant. Since I was on the Pill every time I got pregnant I'm guessing I wouldn't have had to work too hard at it. 🤷🙄🙄🙄 At some point, especially if I didn't care about my kids learning any different, I could have stayed flush with WIC and food stamps and AFDC for at least until the last one turned 18 ... 🤷🤷 But what kind of message does that send to my children?? I dunno if I did the right thing but I do know I did the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night -- and that was to work and work hard to take care of the responsibilities that my actions caused me to have. 🤷 And I hope, in the end, it was enough because my integrity, fragile though it is, is all I really have. [/QUOTE]
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Hey you guys derailing the dog thread -- get in here ...
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