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The Water Cooler
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Judge violently beats daughter... video just released by the daughter. Very Graphic
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<blockquote data-quote="RidgeHunter" data-source="post: 1648321" data-attributes="member: 4319"><p>+1 Gillman. Coming from a non-abusive family, I never understood it. I always thought "Why the hell would a grown woman put up with abuse? Just leave, goober."</p><p></p><p>I thought that way because none of the women (yeah, I know men can be abused too...in this case we're talking about women) in my family would have stood for it. Mom and sister? Like hell they'd take abuse. Grandma? Lawl. I didn't realize until later that was because they were raised in a way that taught them to form quasi-healthy relationships. </p><p></p><p>This isn't the case in every situation, but I've found that the vast majority of women that are victims of spousal abuse had some type of problem with their father/male guardian. I tend to believe that most events have an unbroken chain of prior occurrences. If their father didn't abuse them, at the very least their relationship had major problems. The first man a woman ever loves is usually their father. If the man you love unconditionally and trust to provide for you abuses you as a kid, you have this weird dichotomy between love and abuse that will last the rest of your life. They often don't see how intrinsically wrong it is to take abuse from a loved one, and that leads them to fall in line with the control of the abuser which oftentimes will be their spouse/partner down the road. It's hard for someone who has never been there to understand it, and like many people here it was years before I did.</p><p></p><p>The first thing that struck me about the wide in this video is her saying "I already spanked her." right off the bat. Seemed like an effort to get the dad NOT to hit the girl. Then we she takes the belt from him, and instead of beating her multiple times all over the body, she only hits her once. She probably saved her 40 licks by doing that. I think she was trying her best to placate the Judge without making things worse.</p><p></p><p>Let's assume the wife of the Judge was abused as well (because I'm sure a guy like that treats his wife <em>so well</em>...) She would be thinking in the short term. She fears this guy. If she had tried to stop him, he probably would have knocked her to the ground, beat the girl 3 times as severly as he did all the while blaming the mother for it and making her watch. That's kinda how it goes in houses like this. Abuse victims constantly walk on eggshells and give validation to their abuser. </p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>I see your point. I'm not a fan of physical discipline either, but I think if you look at it objectively you can see the line between abuse.</p><p></p><p>Abusers aren't disciplinarians. They are insecure, controlling, manipulative people who want to emotionally and mentally break their victim. To equate everyone who has been spanked with victims of abuse is just plain intellectual dishonesty. </p><p></p><p>The only time I was spanked as a child (I don't even remember it other than from mom telling me) was when I ran out into traffic in a busy parking lot as a youngster. My mom surmises that grabbing me and spanking me in hopes I'd realize the severity of what I did might work. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. That's not important. But to say that constitutes an abusive mother/child relationship is ludicrous. That was discipline. It may have been misguided discipline, but anyone with half a shred of objectivity on this issue would not call it abuse. </p><p></p><p>Abuse is not only physical; there is emotional abuse as well. In fact the emotional effects are the worst part of most physical abuse. To equate a disciplinary spanking with a violent beating at the hands of abuser is the exact same thing as equating a speech like <em> "I'm disappointed in you; I'm taking away X privileges"</em> with <em>"You're a piece of **** nobody loves and I wish you were never born."</em> May as well equate any discipline with emotional abuse. </p><p></p><p>Again, I think physical discipline is 100% unnecessary and could/would never utilize it, but at least in my opinion I'm able to recognize a difference. I'd call some spankings a bad parenting choice, but I'm not willing to say every kid who was ever spanked is an abuse victim. Abuse is too serious of a term to use haphazardly. That being said I'd just assume society phase out physical discipline altogether as IMO it's totally unnecessary. </p><p></p><p>And as far as the people condemning the comments towards the dad, you need to look up "hyperbole" and "venting" in the dictionary. Christ.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RidgeHunter, post: 1648321, member: 4319"] +1 Gillman. Coming from a non-abusive family, I never understood it. I always thought "Why the hell would a grown woman put up with abuse? Just leave, goober." I thought that way because none of the women (yeah, I know men can be abused too...in this case we're talking about women) in my family would have stood for it. Mom and sister? Like hell they'd take abuse. Grandma? Lawl. I didn't realize until later that was because they were raised in a way that taught them to form quasi-healthy relationships. This isn't the case in every situation, but I've found that the vast majority of women that are victims of spousal abuse had some type of problem with their father/male guardian. I tend to believe that most events have an unbroken chain of prior occurrences. If their father didn't abuse them, at the very least their relationship had major problems. The first man a woman ever loves is usually their father. If the man you love unconditionally and trust to provide for you abuses you as a kid, you have this weird dichotomy between love and abuse that will last the rest of your life. They often don't see how intrinsically wrong it is to take abuse from a loved one, and that leads them to fall in line with the control of the abuser which oftentimes will be their spouse/partner down the road. It's hard for someone who has never been there to understand it, and like many people here it was years before I did. The first thing that struck me about the wide in this video is her saying "I already spanked her." right off the bat. Seemed like an effort to get the dad NOT to hit the girl. Then we she takes the belt from him, and instead of beating her multiple times all over the body, she only hits her once. She probably saved her 40 licks by doing that. I think she was trying her best to placate the Judge without making things worse. Let's assume the wife of the Judge was abused as well (because I'm sure a guy like that treats his wife [I]so well[/I]...) She would be thinking in the short term. She fears this guy. If she had tried to stop him, he probably would have knocked her to the ground, beat the girl 3 times as severly as he did all the while blaming the mother for it and making her watch. That's kinda how it goes in houses like this. Abuse victims constantly walk on eggshells and give validation to their abuser. I see your point. I'm not a fan of physical discipline either, but I think if you look at it objectively you can see the line between abuse. Abusers aren't disciplinarians. They are insecure, controlling, manipulative people who want to emotionally and mentally break their victim. To equate everyone who has been spanked with victims of abuse is just plain intellectual dishonesty. The only time I was spanked as a child (I don't even remember it other than from mom telling me) was when I ran out into traffic in a busy parking lot as a youngster. My mom surmises that grabbing me and spanking me in hopes I'd realize the severity of what I did might work. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. That's not important. But to say that constitutes an abusive mother/child relationship is ludicrous. That was discipline. It may have been misguided discipline, but anyone with half a shred of objectivity on this issue would not call it abuse. Abuse is not only physical; there is emotional abuse as well. In fact the emotional effects are the worst part of most physical abuse. To equate a disciplinary spanking with a violent beating at the hands of abuser is the exact same thing as equating a speech like [I] "I'm disappointed in you; I'm taking away X privileges"[/I] with [I]"You're a piece of **** nobody loves and I wish you were never born."[/I] May as well equate any discipline with emotional abuse. Again, I think physical discipline is 100% unnecessary and could/would never utilize it, but at least in my opinion I'm able to recognize a difference. I'd call some spankings a bad parenting choice, but I'm not willing to say every kid who was ever spanked is an abuse victim. Abuse is too serious of a term to use haphazardly. That being said I'd just assume society phase out physical discipline altogether as IMO it's totally unnecessary. And as far as the people condemning the comments towards the dad, you need to look up "hyperbole" and "venting" in the dictionary. Christ. [/QUOTE]
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