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Message: <blockquote data-quote="HMFIC" data-source="post: 1362785" data-attributes="member: 7539">I usually wrap the TP around my hand three or four rotations and make a bale 'o cotton out of it for each wipe.  No "one square only", Sheryl Crow style cleaning for this red blooded American boy.  It serves to protect my tender flesh from the caustic remains of the gunshow concession stand swill.Normally I check to ensure there is enough TP available to form my detoxification swipes and also to wrap the toilet seat like an Egyptian mummy prior to placing my virgin derriere anywhere near it.I barely had enough and had to go into paper conservation mode as the event progressed which did not please me nor allow my bowels the proper relaxation required for total and complete ejection.Needless to say, I had wait until I got back home to empty the remaining frito-chili-pie that had been steeping in my innards.  The effect of the TP operator not having done his duty at keeping the rolls in the head full was that my family sufferred incomprehensible torture as the house filled with the noxious fumes of undigested fair food.<img src="/images/smilies/new/boxing3.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":boxing3:" title="Boxing3    :boxing3:" data-shortname=":boxing3:" /></blockquote>