Easily explainable if you consider the contextual/situational differences. My post about ingroup vs. outgroup processes is a great place to start, and it's references the exact context you mention.Okay my turn.
Why do we not see crap fly when the term honky or cracker is used?
If the frat boys had been singing a nice song and using the "N" word would all be okay? I doubt it, we do have words that are okay for some but not others.
Tell me I am wrong, I was born and spent more than a few years in East LA , being just a few of the white folks in the area as a kid repeating the same stuff I heard daily lead to a fight or two. How do we explain that?
This example (the frat/basketball comparison, nor the "smash a woman's face" example) doesn't demonstrate a double standard. Working forward from the ingroup vs. outgroup perspective...in many cultures, it's acceptable to call each other "******"; however, if you aren't a member of that culture, and using the word in the correct cultural context, it isn't acceptable. This is true in all cultures and subcultures around the world, and is also observed in many non-human animal species. If you are part of the group, some things literally have a different meaning than if you are not part of the group.There is a double standard. Kind of like how it is not culturally acceptable to smash a woman's face in. Even if she deserves it.