I also echo the sentiment of all of the responders. I am a new CWL holder (4 months) and I recently went through this same issue. I chose a G26 for my EDC and Comptac MTAC holster (with a SmartCarry for gym type clothes). I too was very apprehensive about carrying chamber loaded , but about 3 weeks into it, I felt comfortable enough to start trying it. At this point, I couldnt imagine not carrying loaded, as you simply cannot rely on remembering to rack the slide (nor will you have time) when its "go time" . I am confident that you will eventually reach this point, its simply a point you have to reach on your own. I hope this helps .