1. You've ever uttered the words "Does this plate carrier make my butt look fat?" 2.You have combat boot in multiple patterns and colors. 3.You've ever received body armor for Christmas... and were excited. 4.Your iphone has a Magpul protective case. 5.You require the pattern on your magazine pouches to match the Duracoat on your weapon. 6. You refuse to mix woodland camouflage with multicam. 7.You wear R.A.T. boots and F.R.O.G. blouses. 8.You really wish Infidel Body Armor would make contoured plates for a woman's shape. 9.You actually think your combat boots look great with your long skirts. 10.You've ever put your hair in a french braid so that your MICH helmet fits. 11.Your son has ever uttered the words "My mom wears combat boots". 12.You extol the virtues of "group standard" weapons to your girlfriends. 13.Your local gas station owner seeks your advice when trying to determine whether to buy an AR or an AK. 14. You have shemaghs to match all of your camo patterns. 15.You hunt deer with a Steyr SSG. 16.You've ever used the helmet light on your MICH helmet to find lost socks in the dark.