If you're born to hang you won't drown.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
That dog ain't going to hunt..
My high school vo-ag teacher had the best ones:
"You could break a ball bearing with a rubber mallet."
"His minds made up, don't confuse him with facts."
"And IF your aunt had nuts she'd be your uncle"
"excuses are like azz holes, everyone has one and most of them stink."
"You could break a ball bearing with a rubber mallet."
"His minds made up, don't confuse him with facts."
"And IF your aunt had nuts she'd be your uncle"
"excuses are like azz holes, everyone has one and most of them stink."
The 4 that carried me through my 40-year work life are:
"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass every afternoon."
"It's mushroom management. They're keeping us in the dark and feeding us ****."
"They're pissing down our necks and calling it rain."
"In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king."
"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass every afternoon."
"It's mushroom management. They're keeping us in the dark and feeding us ****."
"They're pissing down our necks and calling it rain."
"In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king."
The only time I heard my grandma say a cuss word is when one of us kept bringing up something bad, she would say "the more you stir ****, the worse it stinks."
At a Public Information Officer training class, the instructor said sometimes you just have to tell the truth to the press, no matter how bad it is, because "you can't shine ****, it don't buff."
At a Public Information Officer training class, the instructor said sometimes you just have to tell the truth to the press, no matter how bad it is, because "you can't shine ****, it don't buff."
Here's one my 90 year old Granny used Christmas Eve when referring to all te hard work my wife was putting in cooking, decorating, etc.
"Son, you can't ride a good horse to death."
"Son, you can't ride a good horse to death."
Trying to remember a few my old grandad would say out in the pasture or in the horse barn.
Damn it to hell!!!
(bad smell) Who sh1t their pants!!??
About as obvious as a diamond in a goat's azz.
Neater that sliced bread
Hotter than a June bride on a feather bed.
Slicker than snot on glass.
Busier than a three peckered billy goat.
Happier than a coon dog during mating season.
Mean as a bobcat.
When he was drinking whiskey....especially if it was cold outside...he would call his whiskey antifreeze. Hand me my antifreeze.
When someone was bragging or thought they were a little better than everyone else...he would say...They got their big boy pants on.
Me...to my wife. You're pretty good for my first wife.
My wife to me: After me, you won't be able to afford a second wife..... Both were jokes to each other..at least I hope my wife meant that...a joke.
Last, when I hear my wife YELL this across the house....I head for the hills, a bar, or somewhere away from her. It usually means she found out about another gun purchase, something I broke, something I tried to fix...with her saying for me to get an expert to fix it...usually the husband stuff:
Holy Mother of God!!!!! When I hear my wife say that....I exit the property!!
Cohiba
Damn it to hell!!!
(bad smell) Who sh1t their pants!!??
About as obvious as a diamond in a goat's azz.
Neater that sliced bread
Hotter than a June bride on a feather bed.
Slicker than snot on glass.
Busier than a three peckered billy goat.
Happier than a coon dog during mating season.
Mean as a bobcat.
When he was drinking whiskey....especially if it was cold outside...he would call his whiskey antifreeze. Hand me my antifreeze.
When someone was bragging or thought they were a little better than everyone else...he would say...They got their big boy pants on.
Me...to my wife. You're pretty good for my first wife.
My wife to me: After me, you won't be able to afford a second wife..... Both were jokes to each other..at least I hope my wife meant that...a joke.
Last, when I hear my wife YELL this across the house....I head for the hills, a bar, or somewhere away from her. It usually means she found out about another gun purchase, something I broke, something I tried to fix...with her saying for me to get an expert to fix it...usually the husband stuff:
Holy Mother of God!!!!! When I hear my wife say that....I exit the property!!
Cohiba
