Cliches and expressions your family uses

[GUN DOG]

**** in one hand wish in the other, see which one fills up 1st

Dumb as a box of rocks
P!ss up a rope & suck on the wet end
Slow as molasses running up hill in Jan. (this was back north east in Nova Scotia)

 

[TerryMiller]

Back from my days of driving an 18-wheeler and referring to another CB operator:

"He's got an alligator radio. All mouth and no ears."


Others:

"As funny as a stale f*rt in a diver's helmet."

"If you look after the dimes, the dollars will take care of themselves."

"If you don't have time to do it right the first time, when will you have time to do it again?"


From a grandmother who NEVER used a curse word that I ever noticed:

"Sow-*****." (Usually used when losing a fish off the line or when losing a hand in a card game.)

 

[BadgeBunny]

From a grandmother who NEVER used a curse word that I ever noticed:

"Sow-*****." (Usually used when losing a fish off the line or when losing a hand in a card game.)

Haha!! My grandmother thought the absolute worst thing in the world you could call someone was a "heifer". And when she did it she would be so mad that she'd literally stutter .... "Why that that that ... HEIFER!" Then she'd turn red as a beet -- like she'd called them everything under the sun but a sailor! She was a hoot!

 

[OKNewshawk]

OK, here's mine:
When you lost something and found it right next to you: "If it had been a snake, it would have bit you."
When you didn't close the front door: "We're not paying to heat (air condition) the entire town."
When you were slow and said "I'm coming": "Yeah, and so's Christmas."

My graphic arts teacher in high school had some great ones:
"I'd have a battle of wits with you but I'd hate to fight an unarmed man."
" 'I see', said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw."

My ex-wife tried, but she usually muddled them up. Her best was the cryptic: "It'll all come out in the rain."

As for me,. when the kids would ask me to make them something (usually a sandwich), I'd make like a magician and say, "Poof! You're a sandwich!"

However, the best one my Mother ever said was when she was working at a motel at the Jersey Shore. She said one day, "It takes all kinds to make the world-and you meet them all here."

 

[Cedar Creek]

"Sweatin' like three hillbillies tryin' to write a letter".

Cedar Creek

 

[JB Books]

Terry,

My Grampa would say, "Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." There's a lot of truth to this one.

 

[TerryMiller]

Haha!! My grandmother thought the absolute worst thing in the world you could call someone was a "heifer". And when she did it she would be so mad that she'd literally stutter .... "Why that that that ... HEIFER!" Then she'd turn red as a beet -- like she'd called them everything under the sun but a sailor! She was a hoot!

Why, BB. We must be related. The same grandmother of mine used the same terminology in about the same way.

I never could understand why it was a derogatory term though. We used to farm and run cattle and the only really bad experience I had with heifers was when we had to help them birth their first calves. That usually happened in the wee hours of the morning with a cold Panhandle wind blowing up one's shirttail as one laid on the ground trying to help.

I still get shivers just thinking about that.

 

[dolang1]

Looking at me like mule looking at a new gate.

 

[WhiteyMacD]

Tighter than a ducks butt.
Like a duck on a june bug.

And this one will probably get deleted, so I am going to try to put it in context. Both my grandpas came from the golden generation. Both were in WWII. When someone was crazy or insane, they would say "So and So is madder than a Jap". This phrase is still used in my family.

 

[plissken]

When one of us kids would ask my mother for something...many times, her response would be, "What do you want me to do? Sh*t you one?"

In response to some curious, twenty something, , females about "size matters"...My grandmother responded, "I'd rather be tickled silly than stabbed to death."

My dad's version of "lie with dogs wake up with fleas"...."You don't bring them up to your level son. They DRAG you down to theirs."

More of dad's: "Son, if you have one friend that you can count on when the chips are down, consider yourself a lucky man".