Famous, or infamous, things your parents said.

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trbii

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My dad when questioning why I did something.

Me: "I thought......"
Dad: "You thought, when you should have been thinking!"

Never made any sense to me.
He was a mean ba$tard.

Never gave advice but would always say:
"I could have told you that was a mistake!"

A lot of good it did me after the fact.
That was a favorite training/instruction method of my dad, during my younger years. Watch me screw up, then criticize harshly (many times in front of friends, neighbors). He liked to say, “boy you are thick”. His poor teaching ability did encourage me to explain clearly, calmly skills, work/job procedures to younger, inexperienced people, for the rest of my life. I was determined to be a better version of him.
 

918evo

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Grandpa would confuse the hell out of fast food workers when they asked if it was the order was for here or to go. "I'm gonna eat it here and take it with me." Also liked saying something bulky and difficult to move was "like dancing with a fat woman, you can barely get your hands around it."

Dad reminded us it was "better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are dumb than to open your mouth and let them know."
 

918evo

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Dad, "Go get me something to hit you with!"

I tried to come back once with a twig.... it didn't work.
I hated having to pick switches. My great-uncle picked a rose stem once thinking his mom wouldn't use it and she said, "Boy if you are stupid enough to pick this, I'm stupid enough to use it on you!." He had cuts all over his legs afterward.
 

Raido Free America

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My Dad was a smart man, the older I get, the more I realize just how smart he was. Two of his favorite sayings were, " you can always learn more listing, than talking!" and " if you need advise on raising kids, ask someone that has never raised any!"
 
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My mom: I will beat you within an inch of your life.
As I got older, trying to alleviate some of the tension I had just caused her, and after she had made her statement, I said, Mom, how about keeping it at about 2 inches, that 1 inch is getting to close and you might get to carried away.😁 That's the day I found out mom didn't have a sense of humor. She put me within one sixteenth inch of my life that day!
 

osu007

AKA: Fat Jack, Believer in God
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Don't stick your fingers anywhere you wouldn't stick your,,,,,well you know.
My Pop was full of them. One of his philosophical sayings, “We get too soon old, and too late smart.” He also told me when I was acting up, “Dammit boy. I’m gonna knock a lung loose if you don’t simmer down.” He had a lot more that I can’t put on here. He was a hoot. He passed in ‘96, and I still miss him. He was cool.
 

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