Funny Cop or Firefighter Stories

[OK Corgi Rancher]

Another thread got me thinking about some of the lighter moments in my law enforcement career. I know you other guys have some, too. Let's hear 'em if you'd like to share...

There was a new subdivision being built that was separated from the main part of our city. Hundreds of houses were being built there.

One Sunday morning there was a burglar alarm coming from one of the show homes. Our policy was two cars were required to respond to alarms. I took the call but all the district cars were tied up. One of our traffic guys was working an event or special assignment so dispatch asked if he could cover. He did. He was riding one of the department Road Kings.

We got there, checked the building, all was good. We decided to go grab a cup of coffee but "Al" told me he was gonna make a pit stop at one of the porta potties right next to where we were parked. He made it clear it was of the sit and stay a while variety. I got in my car and drove around the corner pretending to leave while he was doing something with his bike. When he went into the porta pot I gave him about 45 seconds to get his gear off and get comfy. Then I ran over to his bike, which he hadn't locked, and pushed it up to the potty door, blocking it from opening. He heard me but it was too late to do anything. I ran back to my car while he was yelling obscenities at me.

After a few minutes he called me on our main frequency (channel 1) and asked me to go to our car-to-car channel (channel 2). Channel 2 was very line-of-sight dependent and very short range because it didn't hit the repeaters. I told him I would meet him on Ch 2...but when he called I told him he was too broken to understand because I was already too far away. He went back to Ch 1 and asked me to come back to the alarm location. I told him I couldn't because dispatch had called me with a sensitive assignment. I'd already called dispatch and told them to play along. He said he was having trouble with his bike and needed my help. He tried and tried to get me to come back but I told him I couldn't.

Long story short, I made him tell me, over channel 1, that he was locked in the porta potty and couldn't get out. He was so mad I actually considered he might shoot me! I moved his bike away from the door just enough so he could squeeze out. He vowed vengeance but it never happened.

 

[Glock 'em down]

LoL! That's good stuff right there.

I could start telling funny stories, but after being a cop for over 33 years, I would have a hard time picking the funniest and there are way too many to tell them all.

 

[L.C.]

I had a rookie that I had told more than once not to leave his keys in his car when he got out of it.
One night while I was waiting for the county deputies to come in so we could go do a drug bust at a residence the rookie was out on a call(just a civil matter) so I grabbed another officer and told him to come with me. I went to where the rookie was and just as I suspected he had left his keys in his car unlocked. I had the officer with me get into the car and move it around the corner and wait for me to call him.
I parked 2 blocks away till the rookie came out to get in his car.
In a few minutes he exited the residence and noticed his car was gone. While looking through my binocs I could see He looked down the street and just had this look of dread on his face and got on his phone and called me and said that his car was missing. I asked him how could that happen I have told you more than once to not leave your keys in your car. He said yes sir I know, I'm sorry. I told him to just walk back to the station(Station was 4 blocks away) and we will see what we can do about it. He started walking to the station and I called the the officer that was waiting in his car to take it to the station and park it on the side. I was watching the video cameras and the Rookie got to the station and saw his car parked on the side of the building and went to get his keys but I had them. He came into the station and said LT I'm sorry it will not happen again. I told him, listen to what I tell you, if I tell you something there is a reason for it. He said yes sir LT you old guys are priceless and thats the last time I walk back to the station.

 

[OK Corgi Rancher]

I was dispatched to a burglary in progress. I arrived about the same time my cover car did (this was up in a mountain community where response times could be significant). KJ, a female deputy, was the cover officer.

The RP told us someone was in his guest house. He said could hear them and also saw fresh tracks in the snow leading to the door of the guest house. This was the only way in and out of the little cottage.

KJ and I went to the door, opened it, and announced ourselves. We could hear...unusual sounds...and made our way to the bedroom. There they were...young male and younger female, going at it like rabbits and oblivious to our presence.

I grabbed the young man and pulled him off the girl. KJ ordered the girl to get out of the bed. The girl, with the most matter-of-fact look on her face I've ever seen, just laid there and said, "I wasn't finished." Well, you are now, sweetheart. The male was a frequent flyer and was 16. I'd never seen the girl before and she was only 14.

I came really close to shooting the male about 12 or so years later right in my own gun store. Really close...

 

[TerryMiller]

Not really a funny story, but sad in a way. When we were living and working for that 17 months in Oregon, we had an occasion where some fellow was being chased by someone else (in cars) and drove onto the property of the retreat and reunion center where we were on-site managers. When the "chaser" told me that the "chasee" had gone up one of the roads towards one of our lodges, I had the wife and her helpers to lock themselves into a building at one of the decks.

I then called the Sheriff's office and reported the "break-in." One of two cars with single officer occupants arrived and went up the BLM road to check on the "chasee's" car. Come to find out, the "chasee" had abandoned his vehicle after he hit a spot where logs kept him from going further.

I went back down to the property "center" and there were two more Sheriff's cars parked near the others. In talking to those two men, I found out one of them was the undersheriff, and he reported to me that we had the county's entire on duty force on our property. In other words, 4 men per shift was what they had to work with.

It goes to show the detrimental situation that can come about when a state doesn't do much in the way of taxes.

That county is Josephine County in Oregon with Grants Pass as the county seat. It has 1,642 square miles and a population of a little over 88,000 people.

 

[SoonerP226]

This was told to me by a Chandler cop (we had a mutual friend) about an incident he worked back in the early '90s.

He was on the night shift when he happened upon a carload of Tulsa boys who'd just that day graduated from one of the Tulsa high schools. To celebrate, they'd acquired themselves a trunkload of beer (in OKC, IIRC) and had taken a detour through Chandler's back roads, where they met up with the hero of our story.

I don't recall how he said he discovered the beer (probably had to do with teenage boys trying to be sneaky not actually being sneaky in the slightest), but he said their trunk was full up with it, and I'm pretty sure he said they were all minors.

So he takes the driver back to his car, sits him in the front seat, and tells him that they get to make a choice: either they pour the beer out, or he (the driver) goes to jail. The kid agrees to pour out the beer, so our hero tells the kid to sit tight and says he's going to go ask the same question of the other guys in the car.

So he does. Naturally, the other guys agree to pour out the beer, so our hero heads back to the patrol car.

"Bad news, slick. They said you could go to jail. They're keeping the beer."

He said the kid turned white as a sheet, then started sputtering about letting him go talk to them, and how he'd convince them to pour out the beer.

That's when he let the kid off the hook, then stood there and watched while they poured out all that beer into the bar ditch...

 

[Okieyote]

Most of the good stories we have would get us banned from OSA because someone would get offended

 

[OK Corgi Rancher]

I stopped a car with 4 teenage boys one night. I could smell it on all of 'em...they'd been drinking. Mostly I was just messing with 'em but I couldn't get them to admit they'd been drinking to save my life. It's like they'd been trained by the KGB to resist interrogations.

So, I went back to my car and got my PBT. I told them they either admitted to it or I'd make them take a breath test and they'd go to kiddie jail till their parents came and picked them up, I'd tow the car, and they'd all get tickets for MIP and their licenses would be revoked (some of that was true, some of it wasn't...but they didn't know that).

Finally, one admitted he'd had a beer but was adamant it was only one. Then, one by one, they all admitted to drinking a beer or maybe a half a beer. Sounded about right.

So then I pulled open the velcro tab on the black nylon case the PBT was in...except it was my pair of mini binoculars. I told them those were my special binoculars that allowed me to see thru their bulls**t and I was satisfied they'd finally decided to admit to their heinous crime. Then I made them park their car and call someone to pick them up. They were really pissed that I lied to them about the PBT, but not getting tickets more than made up for that.

I was pretty strict with the kids in the mountain communities I patrolled but they knew if I was on duty they'd better steer clear of trouble. And, most of them did.

 

[Snattlerake]

Not me but I think it is hilarious!

The sign reads,
Sgt Lawrence, the captain told me to leave my motorcycle stuff on your desk when I retired.

I DID

Rosco Sherrill
1750 RETIRED

 

[dennishoddy]

I was a street racer back in the day with my 55 Ford. It was highly modified when kids did the dragging down main street thing. Had dumps on the exhaust manifolds that were controlled with cables.
Built some oil pots that tapped into the exhaust manifold so the dumps could be opened and manually pump oil into the hot manifolds that created an absolute cloud of smoke that could bring traffic to a stop, all to mask the street race when the light changed.
It was not uncommon for me to get a speeding ticket.
One officer in particular took it upon himself to be my "monitor". He would pull me over at the drop of a hat for some "moving violation". (that I was probably guilty of).
Fast forward to about 2008, our gun range moved from it's 45 year location to a new facility.
A couple years after I was the VP of the range and finally President. That cop "monitor" was a great benefactor to our range and we talked a lot about our past "acquaintances".
Sadly, he has passed now.