Funny Cop or Firefighter Stories

[SoonerP226]

How many of you have almost shot someone while clearing a house...only to realize the guy pointing the gun at you is your reflection in a mirror?

Audie Murphy did, but he shot it with a Thompson.

 

[SoonerP226]

A retired OHP Trooper once told me about a stop that one of his buddies had related at a gathering of Troopers. He’d pulled over a car for speeding, so when he got to the window, he asked the driver, “where’s the fire?”

The lady in the driver’s seat replied, ”between my legs and you don’t have enough hose to put it out!”, then she slammed it in gear and sped off.

The other Troopers asked him what he’d done, and his reply was “what else could I do? I got back in my car, turned off the lights, and drove off in the opposite direction.”

 

[TerryMiller]

How many of you have almost shot someone while clearing a house...only to realize the guy pointing the gun at you is your reflection in a mirror?

Audie Murphy did, but he shot it with a Thompson.

I had the same reply as SoonerP226, but I was going to add that if one did shoot a mirrored reflection of themselves, they were in dang good company because of Audie Murphy's event.

 

[DRC458]

We used to live next door to the police chief. He heard noises in the house in the middle of the night, grabbed his pistol, and went to investigate. Noise was coming from the kitchen. He crept around the corner of their living room into the kitchen and just damn near shot their brand new refrigerator as it dumped another load of ice. They'd never had an ice maker before.

 

[OK Corgi Rancher]

I've never heard that about Audie Murphy. I'll have to look up that story.

 

[OK Corgi Rancher]

Late one summer night we were sitting in front of the fire station, on the side walk. The police station was next door, and a cop car was parked in front of the police station. This cops dog was in the back of the car barking at us. so being the mental giants we were, three grown men, fire fighters, started barking back at him!! The cop a good friend, came out, saw what was happening, jumped into his car and whipped up to where we were setting. he then acted like he was going to open the back door and turn this pissed off attack dog lose on us!! He left the drivers door open, and what he didn't realize was, he had the l sliding window in the back seat cage OPEN!! Here the dog came, we were all playing except the DOG!! The bay doors were open, and needless to say we skinned the paint on some fire trucks climbing out of danger! The dog grabed on fire fighter that weaighed 200 pounds, by his wallet, in his back pocket, luckily, and shook him like a rag doll!! This scared this cop, and us, to death, luckily no one was injured except the paint on the truck hoods!

I have to admit... We used to invent ways to wake the hose draggers up in the middle of the night. It got to be sport for us. The fire guys didn't find it nearly as funny as we did...

 

[OK Corgi Rancher]

I'd have bets with a guy on my team about once a week. Stuff like who could make an arrest the furthest outside the city limits. Or who could make arrests in all 3 counties (parts of our city were located in 3 different counties).

That was always fun...

 

[Snattlerake]

How many of you have almost shot someone while clearing a house...only to realize the guy pointing the gun at you is your reflection in a mirror?

Watonga P.D. did that one night. He was on the GE Portamobile clearing a business with an open door he found walking the alleys. I was just a ride-along from Kingfisher. I wasn't even a deputy yet just a dispatcher. We were inside and in the office area of the furniture store. The local cop knew the owner who lived over an hour away and didn't want to bother him if it was nothing but an open door.

The desk was an absolute mess with the metal lock box upside down on the floor and papers on the floor and hanging halfway out of the drawers. The lock box had the hasp torn off and it was just hanging by a rivet.

We both heard a thump thump! We both froze in our tracks and just listened. Thump thump! We determined the store had a basement and the noise was coming from there. He had me go out to the car, grab the shotgun out of the rack and call out the situation to dispatch since we had no backup. When I got back with the shotgun he returned it to me and told me he was going down to look around. He said, "If I don't come back up, shoot whoever does." I told him I would. Knowing in my own mind that was a stupid thing for him to say, I knew what he meant and I gave him the answer he wanted.

He all but crawled downstairs and about halfway down, THUMP! THUMP! We both looked at each other half grinning and half scared to death. He was down there about 5 minutes and THUMP! THUMP! "POLICE! DON'T"... BLAM! BLAM! then the sound of shattering glass and "OHHHH FU****!"

I hollered down the stairs, "YOU OK?" Then I heard him laughing. He climbed back up the stairs, "I shot myself!" I thought, oh Lord, I better call the ambulance. Then thinking to myself, this is Watonga and they have volunteer ambulance drivers that have to drive to the fire station to get an ambulance... hell, I better get him in the car for me to drive him to the hospital. I said where did you shoot yourself? are you bleeding badly? He started laughing harder.

I was perplexed! He said, "No, I shot my reflection in the full length mirror, hell, he had a gun and pointed it at me so... Me interrupting, "You did what?" "I shot myself in the mirror."

It turned out there was a basement transom open and a breeze was blowing slightly. The closet door was on overhead rollers and the breeze blew it just enough to bump the sides of the pocket wall it was installed in. He heard the noise, saw a dude with a gun and was warning him, then killed him.

Oh yeah, the desk area... that was his normal day-to-day working area and they kept it that messy all the time. He had just forgotten to lock the back door. Due to the initial investigation we performed and the sounds we heard, we didn't have time to call and wait on a keyholder to arrive from that far away.

Oh yeah again, I was walking doors in Medicine Lodge and almost shot the full sized mechanical waving Maytag Man.

 

[Shadowrider]

I'm reading a book called "Old School Narc" right now. It has a comical event in it. It's written by one of the first undercover narcotics agents in Tucson, AZ which in the '70s and '80s was pretty much ground zero for drug importation for the cartels. It was my step-father's book who was a retired Tucson PD officer and served through some of this period covered in the book.

The author was having dinner with three other UC agents at a restaurant somewhere in Tucson to wind down after shift one night which was a common occurrence for them. They had sat down in a booth directly across the isle from two women in their '60's who were already there. They ordered their food and were just casually talking as normal. Their food came and they started eating. From the time they sat down these two women were giving them all the evil stare, plainly letting them know they didn't approve miscreants sitting in their proximity and ruining their dining experience. This was in the late '70s and they were all UC drug agents, so they were in plain clothes, had long hair with beards and looked like hippies and bikers. These women were quite plainly getting really rude and it had became excessively rude. One of the agents had had enough and he had ordered a mushroom and swiss hamburger. When the two women weren't looking he cut a little piece of mushroom off and stuck it into his nostril. When he was certain they were looking he dug it out and ate it in front of everyone stating "Hmmm, that boogey was tasty". The two women were aghast and without a word they both stood up and hauled ass out of there while all four agents were laughing.

 

[OK Corgi Rancher]

If you've never read any of Joseph Wambaugh's books do yourself a favor and find one. They are awesome!