"I Am Adam Lanza's Mother"

[ez bake]

It's funny to see all of the folks with Narcissistic Personality Disorder casting the first stones at the mentally ill who happen to be different than they are.

I don't honestly know that I could cram more irony into a sentence if I tried.

 

[dennishoddy]

Have had two experiences with students who had Aspergers. Both came in with parents who were given a diagnosis, a list of what they could expect, and told them to expect misbehavior. The students had been told "no" very few times in their lives, for fear of a meltdown or acting out. By the time they had experienced some structure, and several teachers who made them tow the line, and gave them "our" expectations, instead of using Asperger's as an excuse, they left able to do way, way more than was ever expected of them.

This is the main problem I see in our society. Kids, no matter if they came from a single parent family(I was a single dad) or a single mom have to learn they can't be their childrens "friend".

Your their parent. your the law, your the person that sets the example.

People are so ate up in their own lives that they leave their children as casuality's of society. Its not right.

 

[BadgeBunny]

This is the main problem I see in our society. Kids, no matter if they came from a single parent family(I was a single dad) or a single mom have to learn they can't be their childrens "friend".

Your their parent. your the law, your the person that sets the example.

People are so ate up in their own lives that they leave their children as casuality's of society. Its not right.

THIS ... I was a single mom ... None of my kids are in jail. They all have jobs. They all take care of their responsibilities ... Are they perfect? No. Are they better than a lot of kids I know who had the "blessing" of having two parents in their home? By a damned far sight.

It's not the number of parents, it's the QUALITY of the parenting.

 

[AKguy1985]

I had two close family members in my family that were schizophrenic. When they were off their medication they can do really crazy irrational things. Both have passed on.

 

[neginfluence04]

Are you really bagging on her because she is a single mother? Maybe her husband died? Maybe he was an abusive jackass? Maybe he ran off the neighbor across the street? Not every woman is lucky enough to have a good husband or man lucky enough to have a good wife. Not all children are lucky enough to have two loving parents.

Rather than judging, you ought to find a way to help.

Agree with JB +1

THIS ... I was a single mom ... None of my kids are in jail. They all have jobs. They all take care of their responsibilities ... Are they perfect? No. Are they better than a lot of kids I know who had the "blessing" of having two parents in their home? By a damned far sight.

It's not the number of parents, it's the QUALITY of the parenting.

I was raised by mother and had no father in the picture when I was growing up. I have a degree, ZERO DEBT, and make a good living to provide for my wife and daughter. My two older sisters are also very successful due to the up bringing of our mother.

 

[MLRyan]

The medications that are currently used don't seem to be effective for many.

We're in the habit of treating symptoms instead of causes.

 

[soonersfan]

can you please post a link to the 97% study?? thanks

I don't have a link. I took a legal class recently taught by a former prosecuting attorney in our state. He conducted the study personally over several years and testified to Congress about the results. The study came up during a discussion in class one day but he did not give us copies. He was basically advocating for more intervention and mentorship for juvenile offenders from single parent homes. I'll shoot him an email and see if I can get a copy to post.

The point was also not to bash single parents doing the best they can. Obviously, there are a lot of kids from single parent households that turn out just fine. This is not to say and it can't be done and be done well. I would simply say that it is less than ideal and presents unique challenges to the one parent trying to do everything alone. The study did nothing, as far as I know to measure the correlation between first time offenders and single parent homes. It was focused strictly on repeat offenders and whether they were from single parent homes.

 

[inactive]

Have had two experiences with students who had Aspergers. Both came in with parents who were given a diagnosis, a list of what they could expect, and told them to expect misbehavior. The students had been told "no" very few times in their lives, for fear of a meltdown or acting out. By the time they had experienced some structure, and several teachers who made them tow the line, and gave them "our" expectations, instead of using Asperger's as an excuse, they left able to do way, way more than was ever expected of them.

Mainstreaming kids like this is one of the best things that can happen for many of them. It's a bit of a double-edged sword, as I'm sure you know better than I, since the kids needs challenged but also can be tormented ruthlessly by the rest of the school and society. So there's a balance that needs stuck. But I totally agree that challenging these kids is one of the best things that can happen to them. Self-awareness of their condition is one of the best ways of helping them move forward, as long as it's introduced correctly.

I don't know whether he was judging or not but single parent households are actually a bigger societal issue than mental health.

Well, mental health and societal problems such as poverty, broken homes, crime and drug culture, etc. are NOT unrelated. You can't really isolate these when looking at the population on the whole.

We dont have very many "mental institutions" anymore. Its cheaper to house them in prisons.

Today we just toss many in prison or pass them along to be somebody elses problem.

Damn right, Lurker66. "It's not my problem" so we'll just lock 'em in a closet and they'll get help there. Because the private prison business model works on rehabilitation and not recidivism. Seems legit.

This is the main problem I see in our society. Kids, no matter if they came from a single parent family(I was a single dad) or a single mom have to learn they can't be their childrens "friend".

Preach on, Dennis. I was the son of a single dad. One of the biggest things I realize as a grown man is my father is my BEST friend now by holding me accountable back then. He knew I was his problem and not the school's, or my grandparent's, or even my own when I was still in my early teens. Looking back, I was never that much worried about getting in "trouble" or punished when I screwed up as much as I was worried I would disappoint him (and to an extent, myself). The spanking never bothered me (so he never really had to do it at all), but the looks and voices of him being let down sure did. I think that means he was doing it right.

And you're right - too many parents too caught up in their own hobbies, their own toys, or sadly their own careers to give their kids a second thought nowadays. On the topic of mental illness, I think many parents are in denial about what they think may be an illness with their children, for fear of the stigma attached and/or the "extra work" they'd face with a child with different or additional needs. It's quite possibly the most heinous form of selfishness.

 

[Blinocac200sx]

There is more to the story

http://sarahkendzior.com/2012/12/16/want-the-truth-behind-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-read-her-blog/

 

[BadgeBunny]

There is more to the story

http://sarahkendzior.com/2012/12/16/want-the-truth-behind-i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-read-her-blog/

While I will not pretend to know if this woman is as mentally ill as she says her child is, or just a really good writer who knows how to make a blog "trafficable", I will say this -- when you present yourself to the public as she has done, no stone will be left unturned to discredit you. None of us has a closet completely devoid of skeletons ...

I feel sorry for her children ... She has thrown them all into the lions' den. Whether she did so intentionally, to further her writing career, or unintentionally, to further the discussion on the sorry state of the treatment of mental illness in this country remains to be seen, but the damage to her children will be the same, irregardless ...

Whatever happened to putting your children FIRST?