I’m only a few years past this hypothetical. I didn’t know then and I didn’t know now.
Apathy is a major force in my life. I planned on taking a year off after high school to camp and fly fish and figure out what I wanted to do. A job fell in my lap and here I am still doing it. I bought my first house at 19 and had money in the bank, but I never got that year, and I never got a degree.
I’ve haven’t taken the long trips I’ve wanted to take because my job is not conducive to long absences.
I’ll go back to school by 25. Too late - make that 30. Wait, make it 35…
Nah, I don’t want to go to school. I’ll liquidate. Move, work a part time job in a state park and be a river rat.
I’ve at least finally quelled the dissonance in my head regarding what’s important to me – or rather, what’s not. Money, titles, and the opinions of people I don’t love have no value to me. Apathy is still the driving force, but it’s beginning to manifest itself with impulsive decisions rather than tempered, safe decisions. Something something something nothing risked something something nothing gained.
This year is already shaping up to be strange. I’m telling people how I feel even though that’s not usually within my comfort zone. I’m taking risks by trusting people that could very well bite me in the ass. I honestly have no idea where this time next year will find me. And that feels strange – and good.
I don’t know. I try to enjoy every sandwich, though I’m not great at keeping that attitude. I’ve watched a lot of sunrises and sunsets. Cooked a lot meals on a camp stove. Cast a lot of flies. Floated many river miles and camped on many a gravel bar. I've gotten high in the mountains and fallen asleep staring at stars that appeared to be holes poked in a black sheet being held in front of a lamp. I’ve laughed and cried and talked all night with people I barely knew in places I’d never been. I’ve been front row at enough concerts to make “huh?” a permanent staple of my vocabulary. I’ve drank enough cheap beer to float cabin cruiser. I’ve been hit, held, hated and humped by women with more personality disorders than fingers. I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain; I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end…wait, now I’m just typing the lyrics to a James Taylor song. Goddamnit.
But this sums up my goals going forward from today:
Sketchy has been good to me lately.
Apathy is a major force in my life. I planned on taking a year off after high school to camp and fly fish and figure out what I wanted to do. A job fell in my lap and here I am still doing it. I bought my first house at 19 and had money in the bank, but I never got that year, and I never got a degree.
I’ve haven’t taken the long trips I’ve wanted to take because my job is not conducive to long absences.
I’ll go back to school by 25. Too late - make that 30. Wait, make it 35…
Nah, I don’t want to go to school. I’ll liquidate. Move, work a part time job in a state park and be a river rat.
I’ve at least finally quelled the dissonance in my head regarding what’s important to me – or rather, what’s not. Money, titles, and the opinions of people I don’t love have no value to me. Apathy is still the driving force, but it’s beginning to manifest itself with impulsive decisions rather than tempered, safe decisions. Something something something nothing risked something something nothing gained.
This year is already shaping up to be strange. I’m telling people how I feel even though that’s not usually within my comfort zone. I’m taking risks by trusting people that could very well bite me in the ass. I honestly have no idea where this time next year will find me. And that feels strange – and good.
I don’t know. I try to enjoy every sandwich, though I’m not great at keeping that attitude. I’ve watched a lot of sunrises and sunsets. Cooked a lot meals on a camp stove. Cast a lot of flies. Floated many river miles and camped on many a gravel bar. I've gotten high in the mountains and fallen asleep staring at stars that appeared to be holes poked in a black sheet being held in front of a lamp. I’ve laughed and cried and talked all night with people I barely knew in places I’d never been. I’ve been front row at enough concerts to make “huh?” a permanent staple of my vocabulary. I’ve drank enough cheap beer to float cabin cruiser. I’ve been hit, held, hated and humped by women with more personality disorders than fingers. I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain; I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end…wait, now I’m just typing the lyrics to a James Taylor song. Goddamnit.
But this sums up my goals going forward from today:
Sketchy has been good to me lately.
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