how would you handle this situation

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bobthebrewer

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My grandfather has passed a few years ago and had left (to my understanding) his firearms to myself and possibly my brother (who has no interest in them). My grandmother has them still and doesnt like the idea of me having them at my house (i have kids but i have a locking safe and have been training them as well in safety). she will not hand them over even for me to clean and condition them to make sure they stay in good shape. has anyone experienced a similar situation? how would you recommend handling it?
 
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You'll get them when she wants you to have them. You pestering her over them certainly won't help things. Ive not been in the same situation, but ive seen it many times - mostly the kids just come off as looking greedy and wanting their inheritance, and that tends to rub the surviving spouse the wrong way. I'm not saying that's the situation you're in, or how you've behaved, but in my experience its best to leave it be until she's ready to part with them. Just my two cents.
 

TwoForFlinching

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You'll get them when she wants you to have them. You pestering her over them certainly won't help things. Ive not been in the same situation, but ive seen it many times - mostly the kids just come off as looking greedy and wanting their inheritance, and that tends to rub the surviving spouse the wrong way. I'm not saying that's the situation you're in, or how you've behaved, but in my experience its best to leave it be until she's ready to part with them. Just my two cents.


+1...
 

Lurker66

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I went thru something like this when my grandpa passed. I was the only one who didnt ask for anything or expect anything. I just visited, offered my help and spent time with my grandma.

When the dust cleared, she wanted me to have most everything. Bottom line, it was hers to give, when she was ready.
 

BadgeBunny

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I'm sure this is gonna sound just as crass to you as your post does to me. How 'bout just spending time with grandma while she's still here and letting this thing sort itself out on its on??

Says the woman who has a daughter-in-law who wants to mom-in-law to decorate mom-on-law's house the way the daughter-in-law wants it now because, and I quote, "Me and Your Darling Son are gonna get the house when you die anyway so this would save me the money of having to do it over." No ... I am not ****ing you ...
 

ratski

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I went thru this with both my grandfather and my uncle.

My Grandfather was pretty specific about what he wanted me to have. As the oldest grandson, he wanted me to have his jewelry. He told my Grandmother several times of his wishes with me present. Never got a thing. All went to my cousin.

My Grandmother knew that my wife and I were the only antique lovers in the family, but she wanted her furniture to go to my other cousin. The only granddaughter. I knew that my cousin wasn't interested in the furniture and told her that I'd purchase it when she wanted. No dice. Kim got it all and sold it at yard sale prices.

My uncle was a big hunter, shooter and reloader. I was the only one in the family with similar interests. Neither of his kids likes guns or shooting. Many times he and my aunt said that all of the guns and "stuff" were to go to me when he passed. Never happened.

My advice is don't push it. It is theirs to do with as they please and dwelling on it doesn't help.

Dave
 

rickm

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well i have been there and trust me the best thing to do is forget about it when the time comes and u are suppose to get it u will and if not its not worth all the arguing,bickering and fussing over it cause all it will do is create more problems down the road. The way i look at it u have lived this long without it ur not going to miss it in the end anyway and yes i know its more of a sentament thing but atleast u will sleep good at nite and still have the fond memeries of the ones u loved.
 

Oklahomabassin

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I'm sure this is gonna sound just as crass to you as your post does to me. How 'bout just spending time with grandma while she's still here and letting this thing sort itself out on its on??

Says the woman who has a daughter-in-law who wants to mom-in-law to decorate mom-on-law's house the way the daughter-in-law wants it now because, and I quote, "Me and Your Darling Son are gonna get the house when you die anyway so this would save me the money of having to do it over." No ... I am not ****ing you ...
Tell them you are going to donate it for the okc fgst club house.
 

Mr10mm

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My grandmother was kinda the same way. She didn't want me to have them at my house until my kids were out of the house for good. Didn't matter I had other guns and safe ect.
 

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