Prayer Request

[theman4bran]

My wife (Diane) has had Dementia for about 4 years. I have been doing alright until today. I kinda broke down after talking to her financial advisor today. They won't talk to me till they get her POA. I understand. I just wasn't ready for this. We never are. We got wills and POA in 2022. She has trouble talking on the phone.
I know God will help us, he always has. So if you could send prayers for both of us. I would really appreciate it. Thanks everyone.....Nick

Praying for you and your family Nick

 

[crrcboatz]

Dementia is a cruel condition, typically more so for the care giver than the patient. You must see to the care giver's care as much as the patient's care. Care giver often fails before the patient. Speaking from multiple personal experiences, observations.

Asking for intercessary prayer from others is important. But, more important is praying yourself. Doesn't have to be preacher, Biblicaleese, church flowery. Your are just talking with a friend that loves you beyond your wildest imagination. Just talk to Him. Tell Him , you believe in Him, trust Him, what you need.....and, listen. He will communicate back, in many ways. Be open. If we don't ever talk to a friend, how do they know we need help, what we want?

God's hand and love on you and your family. He is the answer to all your needs. Hope you are a true believer. It makes all the difference through difficult times, as well as the good times.....and, yes, in this world, and most importantly, in the next world. By you seeking prayers here, I wonder if you have a church home?? Reach out to a true Bible believing church, denomination less important than being true Bible scripture based. Religion is man's attempt to reach God. Jesus Christ is God's attempt to reach man. No man comes to the Father, but through the Son....not man, not brick'sn'mortar, not priests/preachers. Bricks'n'mortar and man, often gets between one and their relation with God. But, in a real Bible based group, the pastors and congregation will wrap their arms around you and support you in physical issues, as well as the way more critical spiritual issues.

if you don't have a trust, you need to do one now. Multi-year lookbacks can apply to protecting one's estate, impacting survivors' estates, quality of life going forward. It doesn't have to be expensive. Don't laugh, but several places like Suzie Orman, Dave Ramsey, et el, offer inexpensive methods to create your own, program guided, specific to your state laws, and your specific situation. Previously, for $100 you received a CD program to create/maintain/update your trusts/s. Last time I checked for a new acquaintance, I saw it is $200 and everything is created/maintained online. Everything that has a deed, title, serial number, investment vehicles/accounts, etc should be placed/titled into the trust.....that's termed funding the trust. You and your wife would be grantors (persons establishing), initial trustees (persons authorized to conduct trust business), name successor trustees (those becoming able to do business when initial trustees can no longer perform duties), and beneficiaries (those who would benefit from trust terms).

Trust is an entity unto itself. Can avoid probate, Medicare/aid claims of decedent's assets, many other benefits. You also need Durable Power of Attorney (you said you had gotten POA, but then said you needed??? Needs to be DURABLE POA), Will, Health Care Directive, HIPPA Directive for each person. Also, Pour Over Will provision will dump everything else, and that which you miss, into the trust at your passing, avoiding probate. One wants to be destitute, impoverished, flat broke. Probate makes everything in your life public knowledge, and mandates lawyers/government in for a specific piece of your assets. A trust can keep your affairs private, out of public eye, out of lawyers' and government's reach. I also suggest making burial decisions now, including burial versus cremation. Much easier, often much less expensive,,,,,grave diggers are pocketdiggers....er, my bad, businessmen....preying upon the grieving.........than under stress, immediacy of death. Don't have to pay now, but so doing can also protect assets, avoid inflationary increases

I am not an attorney, not offering legal advice. Just a 3/4 century old geezer that has learned more than I ever wanted to about trusts......and lack thereof challenges...... estates, executor role, hospice, dementia/Alzheimer, cancer, MS, Agent Orange, car and other accidents and "on purposes", bad actors, terminally stupid, orphans, life and death, and believing in this life is merely a staging area for the life that really matters. Currently caring for life long military buddy that has lost his VN Agent Orange battle, 100% VA disabled, now in hospice. When he passes in a few days, that will be 22 family and better-than-family losses from my world in 10 years. "Last man standing" has become a reality in my life. Previously, cared for my parents through their home bound journeys for 10 years before that. This has been my retirement. Money is a meaningless, infinitely replenishable resource, heartbeats not.

An internet friendship/interest group if great. But, the in person, real live, eye to eye, touch is priceless in tough journeys. One cannot truly walk in another person's shoes, only put their arm around other's shoulders and walk beside, supporting. Best wishes to you. Lean on a believing body grounded in God's word for that supporting arm.

Very word well said. God Bless You for this

 

[Frank Pope]

My wife (Diane) has had Dementia for about 4 years. I have been doing alright until today. I kinda broke down after talking to her financial advisor today. They won't talk to me till they get her POA. I understand. I just wasn't ready for this. We never are. We got wills and POA in 2022. She has trouble talking on the phone.
I know God will help us, he always has. So if you could send prayers for both of us. I would really appreciate it. Thanks everyone.....Nick

Prayers, this is everyone's worst nightmare.

 

[Jason Freeland]

Prayers sent, you are in my thoughts.

 

[swampratt]

Our prayers will be sent out.

 

[KipK]

Praying for you and Diane.
My mother (Mary) lives with me, she has dementia, diagnosed about 6 years ago. Yes, it is hard. I struggle every day, especially when I can't provide her food to eat. I am not joking. I work as few hours that I can so I can take care of mom. I have little help. But, I am going to church this morning and believing in and trusting in Jesus to sustain us. He is my ultimate strength. No amount of money can fix all things, look to Jesus for salvation and look to Him as Lord and H shall sustain and bless you.
In the mighty name of Jesus...
Kip

 

[n423]

Praying for you and Diane.
My mother (Mary) lives with me, she has dementia, diagnosed about 6 years ago. Yes, it is hard. I struggle every day, especially when I can't provide her food to eat. I am not joking. I work as few hours that I can so I can take care of mom. I have little help. But, I am going to church this morning and believing in and trusting in Jesus to sustain us. He is my ultimate strength. No amount of money can fix all things, look to Jesus for salvation and look to Him as Lord and H shall sustain and bless you.
In the mighty name of Jesus...
Kip

God Bless you and Mary. My wife is not that bad yet. I am praying for you. Sorry for your situation. I believe in power of prayer.

 

[KipK]

Praying for you and Diane.
My mother (Mary) lives with me, she has dementia, diagnosed about 6 years ago. Yes, it is hard. I struggle every day, especially when I can't provide her food to eat. I am not joking. I work as few hours that I can so I can take care of mom. I have little help. But, I am going to church this morning and believing in and trusting in Jesus to sustain us. He is my ultimate strength. No amount of money can fix all things, look to Jesus for salvation and look to Him as Lord and H shall sustain and bless you.
In the mighty name of Jesus...
Kip

I only shared for encouragement because, for me to know that others are going through things similarly it encourages me. Kinda like going to an AA or 12 step meeting. I went to Alanon in support of my former wife and I realized that others were struggling as well, and just sharing and listening to others share their struggles let's me know that I'm not alone and that others are struggling as well and it helps. And I really believe that it takes hope in a higher power especially for me.

 

[n423]

I only shared for encouragement because, for me to know that others are going through things similarly it encourages me. Kinda like going to an AA or 12 step meeting. I went to Alanon in support of my former wife and I realized that others were struggling as well, and just sharing and listening to others share their struggles let's me know that I'm not alone and that others are struggling as well and it helps. And I really believe that it takes hope in a higher power especially for me.

Amen brother, my Dr said to go to a dementia support group or licensed counselor if needed. We are here to help each other.I have never been to a support group but might need in the future.

.

 

[foghorn918]

Amen brother, my Dr said to go to a dementia support group or licensed counselor if needed. We are here to help each other.I have never been to a support group but might need in the future.

.

Hard to go to support groups when you're needed at home and can't leave them alone. Right now I'm still able to be gone for very short errands and things have been OK. The other day wife put a metal coffee mug with a plastic lid in the microwave for a warm up, luckily I saw it pretty quick and shut it off, but it did melt the lid down into the coffee mug. I have now gotten rid of the metal coffee mugs. It makes me think maybe I shouldn't leave her alone at all, even for my 20-30 minute errands.

I know what you mean about it kind of hitting you, I look at a picture of my wife from 7-8 years ago and think to myself, I miss that person.
I pray for wisdom and patience to make the best decisions I can concerning our situation.