Old Farts Official Bedlam Bash thread.

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stroker-c10

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Q: What's the difference between an Oklahoma fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Norman?

A: Stillwater: 97 Miles

One foggy night, an Oklahoma State fan and an Oklahoma fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Stillwater. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Oklahoma fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Cowboy fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Oklahoma fan walks over to the Cowboy fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Cowboy fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Cowboy fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Sooner fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Sooner fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Sooner fan hands it back to the Cowboy fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Cowboy fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

Q: Why do OU football players have to eat their cereal on plates?

A: Because they keep losing their bowls.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Oklahoma's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a classy OU Fan and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
* The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
 

Cinaet

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What has 20 legs and 3 teeth? The first row of 10 fans in Pickens Stadium.

"Young lady, are you aware of the penalties for perjury?" roared the OSU lawyer at the witness. "You have just testified that you have two brothers. But, in previous testimony, your brother stated that he has but one brother. I want the truth!"
 

Cinaet

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Some computer terms you need to be familiar with to do bidness in OSU country:

LOG ON - Making a wood stove hotter

LOG OFF - Don't add no more wood to the stove

MEGA HERTZ - When yer not keerful gettin the farwood

FLOPPY DISK - Whacha git from tryin to carry too much farwood

WINDOWS - Whut to shut when it's cold outside

SCREEN - Whut to shut when it's black fly season

BYTE - Whut them damn black flies do

MODEM - Whacha did to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX - Old Dan Matrix's wife

LAP TOP - Whar the cats sleep

ENTER - Northerner talk fer, C'mon in y'all

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY - When ya can't 'member whut ya paid fer yer rifle when yore wife asks
 

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