That’s just 
I was married for 3 years before I knew women farted.
That reminds me of an amusing incident back when I was in grad school. A newly-married couple that I knew moved in together, and the wife was very sensitive about her hubby hearing the “noises” when she went potty, so she’d casually turn on the radio or TV a few minutes before just happening to go into the bathroom. The hubby soon caught on, and one day after she turned on the TV and went into the bathroom and closed the door, he turned off the TV. After a minute or so, she called through the door that she’d been listening to the show. The hubby asked her what she had been listening to. There was a silence, then “Just turn on the damn TV!”
I heard this story about my uncle.
Not long after he married my aunt, they were laying in bed one night, and out of the blue he says, "You might want to put your head under the covers, because I'm about to SPIT right straight up into the air at the ceiling."
Naively, she pulled the covers up over her head.
He let off one that would peel the paint off the walls. She came out from under the covers madder than a wet hen.
Not long after he married my aunt, they were laying in bed one night, and out of the blue he says, "You might want to put your head under the covers, because I'm about to SPIT right straight up into the air at the ceiling."
Naively, she pulled the covers up over her head.
He let off one that would peel the paint off the walls. She came out from under the covers madder than a wet hen.
I used to tell the kids “quick hide under the covers it’s mom”
I had a crazy uncle who used to fart in the hall coat closet, then grab me, force me inside, close the door and lean against it so I couldn't get out.
On my first date with my future wife we were going to go to a movie. I dropped her off at the front of the theater and went to park, as soon as she closed the door to my pickup I had to let one rip, a bad one.
Parked and went to meet her at the front door only to find out the fricking theater was closed. We both walk back to my pickup, me with my head hanging low. As soon as I opened the door for her, yep, it hit her and she had a funny look on her face. She never said anything till years later. Good times!! LOL!!
Parked and went to meet her at the front door only to find out the fricking theater was closed. We both walk back to my pickup, me with my head hanging low. As soon as I opened the door for her, yep, it hit her and she had a funny look on her face. She never said anything till years later. Good times!! LOL!!
My buddies wife will openly fart but he always claims it.
Haha, my wife and I worked together for a few years before ever dating and shared an office for a couple of those years. She never farted once. When we started dating, her brothers (3 of them) started a bracket on how many days until she was comfortable enough to fart in front of me. It took a few months before it happened haha.
I have the humor of a 5 year old and farts will always be funny outside of very specific formal situations or at the dinner table. I let my daughter ( almost 8yo) know that life is too short to hang around a boy too good to laugh at a fart. She agrees hahaha.
I have the humor of a 5 year old and farts will always be funny outside of very specific formal situations or at the dinner table. I let my daughter ( almost 8yo) know that life is too short to hang around a boy too good to laugh at a fart. She agrees hahaha.
