HOW TO DRIVE IN OKLAHOMA CITY
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, "The City."
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-40 is 85 mph. On I-44 and I-35, your speed is expected to at least match the fastest vehicle.
Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. OKC has its own version of traffic rules. For example, Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go 1st. The trucks with the biggest tires go 2nd. Everyone else, will politely wave each other on for some insane reason.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. Unless there is a police car nearby.
6. Never honk at anyone if you are northeast of I-44 or north of I-240. Never. Ever.
Matter of fact, don't even drive over there.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. Generally, city roads other than the main streets have more potholes and bumps than most dirt roads in the countryside.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, ladders, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, washing machines, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, hawks and cows running down city streets. Also cowboys on horses chasing cows with lassos.
9. Be aware of Cleveland county and Canadian county sheriff deputies....they are avid hunters and are out for blood.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”.
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 75 in a 55-65 mph zone, e.g., you are considered a road hazard and will be tailgated closely until you wise up and get over. If you choose to remain idiotic you will then be passed and aggressively cut off by everyone you've been holding up.
12. When merging onto the interstate....be doing at least 75mph before you leave the ramp. Pretend you are a NASCAR driver. Otherwise you are susceptible to being prevented from entering traffic and then you are the problem!!!
MORAL OF THE STORY: If everyone drives between 85 and 90 Oklahoma City is a very pleasant place.
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, "The City."
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-40 is 85 mph. On I-44 and I-35, your speed is expected to at least match the fastest vehicle.
Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. OKC has its own version of traffic rules. For example, Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go 1st. The trucks with the biggest tires go 2nd. Everyone else, will politely wave each other on for some insane reason.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. Unless there is a police car nearby.
6. Never honk at anyone if you are northeast of I-44 or north of I-240. Never. Ever.
Matter of fact, don't even drive over there.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. Generally, city roads other than the main streets have more potholes and bumps than most dirt roads in the countryside.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, ladders, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, washing machines, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, hawks and cows running down city streets. Also cowboys on horses chasing cows with lassos.
9. Be aware of Cleveland county and Canadian county sheriff deputies....they are avid hunters and are out for blood.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”.
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 75 in a 55-65 mph zone, e.g., you are considered a road hazard and will be tailgated closely until you wise up and get over. If you choose to remain idiotic you will then be passed and aggressively cut off by everyone you've been holding up.
12. When merging onto the interstate....be doing at least 75mph before you leave the ramp. Pretend you are a NASCAR driver. Otherwise you are susceptible to being prevented from entering traffic and then you are the problem!!!
MORAL OF THE STORY: If everyone drives between 85 and 90 Oklahoma City is a very pleasant place.
