Something I don't understand - men never accept help

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montesa

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Coming to forum of any type , looking for emotional support makes zero sense to me. Friends and family are your support .
Some folks on a forum do not give a crap and some do.... plain and simple. And that has zero to do with which Gen you come from.
OP, some folks are just not comfortable asking for help and some are. It is basically " too each his own" . Some times just answering a phone from said friend will be enough " care and support"
Even if you only talk about hunting or fishing.
Interesting view. I think you are missing the reality that some people don't have friends or family especially as they age. But this really wasn't meant to be about asking for help on a forum, but in general and if it's truly best for people to just bottle things up the way most men do. The suicide rates would lead me to believe that its not. Especially among veterans.
 

NationalMatch

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The best work I've read on the subject. Very insightful. There is a reason for our silence. We grew up watching John Wayne: "A good soldier don't feel no pain." Our heroes were superman (kept his identity hidden) and the Lone Ranger (he wore a mask).

The book:
 

montesa

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It's not correct or right, but I believe that's how we were taught growing up. I see it all the time here on the forum. If any dude voices any kind of "non masculine feeling" then they tend to be labeled as a "p8ssy", or even worse, a liberal. A lot (but not all) of the older dudes around here seem to think that having an actual emotion automatically means you have tits and a period. We need to move past this line of thinking considering how much more likely men are to commit suicide vs women.
Thank you for actually reading and understanding the question. I also think the suicide rates among men mean that something has gone wrong.
 

montesa

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The best work I've read on the subject. Very insightful. There is a reason for our silence. We grew up watching John Wayne: "A good soldier don't feel no pain." Our heroes were superman (kept his identity hidden) and the Lone Ranger (he wore a mask).

The book:
That is exactly what I was talking about. It also is hard on the people around them because they are often angry.
 

NationalMatch

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That is exactly what I was talking about. It also is hard on the people around them because they are often angry.
The "Greatest Generation" was dysfunctional because the men believed it to be a sign of weakness to share their pain, disappointments and fears with others.

They made great warriors, providers (and builders of empires but) typically poor husbands and fathers as they were emotionally closed.

The liberal's solution to the above is the Pajama Boy. A modern, 21st century freak who is typified by effeminacy. This is the stereotype promoted by the pimps and fools in hollyweird as they present the mother as all-knowing, the children as astute, and dad as the Homer Simsonish fool.

The lie reaches its apex with some 120 pound anorexic bubble headed blonde single handedly wiping out a team of Seal Team 6 battle hardened vets using nothing but her bare hands and smelly feet.

But, I digress.
 

Snattlerake

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Coming to forum of any type , looking for emotional support makes zero sense to me. Friends and family are your support .
Some folks on a forum do not give a crap and some do.... plain and simple. And that has zero to do with which Gen you come from.
OP, some folks are just not comfortable asking for help and some are. It is basically " too each his own" . Some times just answering a phone from said friend will be enough " care and support"
Even if you only talk about hunting or fishing.
Yes. I mostly come here with my woes to inform y'all why I haven't been around, not to garner sympathy or prayers. I know y'all don't really give a ^^^**.
 
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Not to be funny or even anecdotal, but I have suffered in silence - up to the point where I filed for divorce - twice!

I have suffered other losses as well. The way I dealt with those losses was also in silence. I found solace in prayer, reflection, and pragmatism. Time did heal.

I don't believe there is one single answer as to why men tend to suffer in silence. That said, some don't keep it to themselves, but their confidant is someone they dearly trust, love, and holds the same basic values, and will often reciprocate with. It's that proverbial shoulder to cry on.

Woody
 

montesa

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We don’t talk about our feelings. We are the backbone in a family. We demonstrate fortitude, truth, faith in God.
We are the rock in difficult situations others can depend on.
I knew of a guy that was a powerful CEO. He lost his son unexpectedly. He was very open about it his feelings in front of the whole company. I used to think what you're saying is ideal but his being open allowed his family to find connection and understanding with what they were going through. I think if he didn't talk about those things it would have been harmful to the rest of his family.
 

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