Sure buddy. Can't wait.
You in OKC? Lunch tomorrow? I'm buying
Would like to talk to you in person and see the kind of man that never breaks. I'm not that. Maybe I'm soft and need your influence.
This is an interesting thread with interesting perspectives.
I don’t ask for help, because I figure people have their own stuff going on and don’t have time….but they dang sure don’t mind asking me to quit whatever I’m doing to help them. I don’t share my emotional baggage, because most people are self absorbed and don’t give a chit about anyone else’s problems….but they expect me to listen to whatever crisis of the day or week they’re having and offer solid advice to get them through it.
I used to be a very social person, but as I’ve gotten older and better able to see through people’s chit, there are very few people I like and even fewer I want to be around.
I text with and am better “friends” with several guys on this message board than anyone locally here in TX. Oh, I have some acquaintances here that I hear from this time of year because I have tractors, a skid steer, and a gun range at my house, but it’s a one sided relationship. They’re also quick to ask when I’m going to take them hunting in Oklahoma.
September 1st was 50 years since my biological Dad was murdered, and September 13th was 10 years since my Dad that raised me lost his fight with cancer. I’ve been thinking about them a lot in the last few days, but I didn’t come on here or go on FB and make some emotional posts….because nobody cares.
All that being said, my opinion as to why a lot of men don’t share their feeling or problems is because they’ve figured out what I have, and it’s that NOBODY REALLY CARES.
I don’t ask for help, because I figure people have their own stuff going on and don’t have time….but they dang sure don’t mind asking me to quit whatever I’m doing to help them. I don’t share my emotional baggage, because most people are self absorbed and don’t give a chit about anyone else’s problems….but they expect me to listen to whatever crisis of the day or week they’re having and offer solid advice to get them through it.
I used to be a very social person, but as I’ve gotten older and better able to see through people’s chit, there are very few people I like and even fewer I want to be around.
I text with and am better “friends” with several guys on this message board than anyone locally here in TX. Oh, I have some acquaintances here that I hear from this time of year because I have tractors, a skid steer, and a gun range at my house, but it’s a one sided relationship. They’re also quick to ask when I’m going to take them hunting in Oklahoma.
September 1st was 50 years since my biological Dad was murdered, and September 13th was 10 years since my Dad that raised me lost his fight with cancer. I’ve been thinking about them a lot in the last few days, but I didn’t come on here or go on FB and make some emotional posts….because nobody cares.
All that being said, my opinion as to why a lot of men don’t share their feeling or problems is because they’ve figured out what I have, and it’s that NOBODY REALLY CARES.
Two different replies to a post I made about not being interested in shoulder bawling - offering to bawl on my shoulder. Sounds like you're more interested in an internet fight than solutions to your mental issues. Have you tried Zoloft? Clozapine? See a psych.
Ok well, I guess my point is this. What if a man that you know called you up and said "I lost my wife and children in a car wreck and now I'm in a wheel chair. I'm not doing well. I need help."
Do you consider that bawling on a shoulder? Would you look down on a man that needed help in a situation like that?
I don't generally share run of the mill drama or problems with anyone. Even the wife doesn't hear all the BS that goes on at work or anywhere else.
That said, I had some really f'd up stuff happen a few years ago. I couldn't even talk about it without crying. (still happens sometimes) I didn't really ask, but I had a TON of run n gun guys support me and my family. I had a bunch of so-called Christians not say a freaking thing. When you're down you find out who your friends are.
Generally speaking, I'd say too many guys whine about their problems too damn much.
That said, I had some really f'd up stuff happen a few years ago. I couldn't even talk about it without crying. (still happens sometimes) I didn't really ask, but I had a TON of run n gun guys support me and my family. I had a bunch of so-called Christians not say a freaking thing. When you're down you find out who your friends are.
Generally speaking, I'd say too many guys whine about their problems too damn much.
People do that. That's an extreme situation. If you're stuck and unable to do things then you generally call up people you know (family, or close friends) to give you a *temporary* hand, or pay someone for help. There's a difference in that situation and "men be sufferin in silenseeee!". If you think someone needs help, offer it. If they don't accept, leave them alone.
I've had a spouse die. I had people (mostly women) trying to horn in and help constantly for about a year. I didn't need help, I needed to get kids delivered to places and get dinner on the table and hopefully have a little time at the end of the day for SILENCE where no one is expecting anything from me and I can be alone and plan solutions.
This is the way. Not saying I didn't eat TF out of those casseroles, got some good recipes too. But the ones that just kept dropping by or bugging with "are you ok?" were the ones I really just wanted to block and ignore for a few months. Good friends, but they couldn't take a hint. Sometimes you just need to circle the wagons and deal with things. Or you just want to sit and watch a game without someone trying to get you to cry because that might make them feel better (again, women).
You can F right off with that. I got things to do.
My generation. Was raised with my primary male role model being my grandfather. Never cried, never whined. Was hard to get him to say I love you but we knew he did. I refuse to withhold love from my family but otherwise I an his mirror image.
I disagree. Some men aren't built that way, just soldier on.
