Something I don't understand - men never accept help

[dennishoddy]

Don’t even think it’s a man or woman thing. Some people don’t ask for or accept help, period. I know people like that of all ages and of either sex.

Good luck with that. It’s a lonely road.

Everyone asking for help got mine by helping roof their homes, kids homes, pouring concrete at their homes, kids homes, fixing their cars, hanging their ceilings fans and the list goes on.
When it’s my turn they have things to do.Fawk them. I do it myself and don’t whine.

 

[Snattlerake]

Stole this from @RugersGR8

 

[T. MIKE SMITH]

I am no expert on anything, but when I face hard times, that is my go-to deal- sit quiet and just be left alone. When I am truly sick, which is rare, don't bug me- just let me get over it. I don't get why, especially women can't get it.

 

[okierider]

Interesting view. I think you are missing the reality that some people don't have friends or family especially as they age. But this really wasn't meant to be about asking for help on a forum, but in general and if it's truly best for people to just bottle things up the way most men do. The suicide rates would lead me to believe that its not. Especially among veterans.

Not my view. It is an observation. People are who they are. Some folks ask for support some do not. Men's suicide rate has always been higher compared to women.
What can I do to change that.... Make damn sure my family and friends know they can come to me about anything.
But I cannot force them to reach out.

 

[Snattlerake]

Military coming back from the Vietnam conflict were offered three days of steak dinners and daily meetings with “counselors” saying to forget everything you did and everything you saw to go forward in your life.
Some could and some couldn’t, just like every other conflict since.

Dad was in WWII and fought in Okinawa. He didn't even like to hunt birds or animals anymore after the war. I never went hunting with him, I always went on my own or with my friends. I have never hunted anything larger than a Jackrabbit. He would fish a little bit but only on our local pond which went dry every other year so now you know why I'm a lousy fisherman.

Dad would never talk about his wartime experience until he started going to his division reunions every year starting in the 80's. Seeing his men who fought side by side with him helped him to open up.

Let's just say he was drafted in 43 and got out in 46 as a first sergeant.

 

[Russ661]

Great thread. I am the same way, but that is all I am able to say about that.

 

[streak]

It’s women’s fault. Has been forever.

We are naturally and instinctually pushed to breed. It’s in our DNA from before time. But weak men don’t get to breed. Women being the weaker (physically) sex have always chosen a mate that can protect/defend/provide the best for her and her offspring.

Now the threats are less and different but the same instincts still apply. Asking for help shows weakness. And even when women say it’s okay and that men should be able to seek help the reality is that those men are still judged as weak and again, given less opportunity’s to breed.

And so, the cycle continues.

 

[THAT Gurl]

I am no expert on anything, but when I face hard times, that is my go-to deal- sit quiet and just be left alone. When I am truly sick, which is rare, don't bug me- just let me get over it. I don't get why, especially women can't get it.

You and I are the same!! When things get a little bumpy leave me alone so I can think my way through it. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed and when I need to concentrate I cannot do it with a bunch of yapping and fussing over going on.

 

[TwoShoots]

This guy asks for help and leans on everyone when he has a bad day or someone hurts his feelings, constantly.
How's his mental health?

That's why we don't. We want to be left alone to deal with things until we can get a handle on it, then we'll re-join the group. No one wants to whine and have a circle jerk party every time life hands you a lemons. You deal with it and move on.

 

[montesa]

This guy asks for help and leans on everyone when he has a bad day or someone hurts his feelings, constantly.
How's his mental health?

That's why we don't. We want to be left alone to deal with things until we can get a handle on it, then we'll re-join the group. No one wants to whine and have a circle jerk party every time life hands you a lemons. You deal with it and move on.

Haha good stuff. But you missed the point. You will break it's just a matter of when and how.