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[Camach]

I moved to Oklahoma in 2011 from Nebraska for work but at that time I kept a Nebraska ID so I really was limited on what fun items... I mean gun items I could buy. I'm not exactly sure how I found this forum, I probably was just googling "Oklahoma firearms forums" or such. Anyways, I moved back to Nebraska for some personal reasons and now I am once again back in Oklahoma. This time I made sure to become an official Oklahoma resident.

 

[twoguns?]

There are two theories of the origin of The Cow Exploder, of the two I know not which is true. The first goes thus:

********

One day while I was still living on the farm with my parents the farm animals, I was called upon to go out and sell our cows in town for money. An odd-looking man came up to me, offering beans that he said were magical. "No way!" I said. "I'm not that stupid!" and continued my way to town.

I succeeded in selling only two of our three cows, but that was ok I thought because we would still need one for milk and other things. While I was buying a few other items in town I let the cow graze in the wide open fields bordering the stores which, unknown to me, was near a nuclear plant that was leaking radiation into the fields.

Soon it was time to come home, which I proceeded to do. As I led the cow back I noticed something unusual about it but I couldn't tell exactly what it was. Funny, though the sun had set over an hour prior it still seemed bright. Anyways, it was a beautiful red sunset.

That night I was tired and slept soundly. When the next morning came and I went out to feed and milk the cow there was a very odd look in the cow's eyes. Suddenly it came up to me and bit me, and in the very next second it exploded.

When I finally regained consciousness, I looked around me and saw a terrible sight. The farm and everything on it was devastated. Crops were still burning from the explosion and the bodies of my parents sat smoking in the ashes. As I looked over the farm the house and the bodies, I wept. I was scared and I didn't know what to do. "Why them?" I thought. "Why not me? What spared my life? What did I do to deserve this?"

Mad at myself and the world I felt I had to strike out at something to relieve my anger. I hit a part of dead tree that was torn off in the explosion. The result? I struck oil. Puzzled by this and everything that happened that day I started to run, and fast. After about 30 seconds and 3/4 of a mile I saw, in the distance, a cow explosion. Suddenly as if in realization of what had happened to me I thought "I now posses strange powers, and whenever I use them, a cow explodes. I can use my powers to help people, and use them I will. For I am ... The Cow Exploder! ... and no one is inferior to me."

********

Another story, thought also to be true and to precede the previous story is as follows:

One day as I was driving home from work (home at that time was simply a small apartment with $500 a month rent) I noticed a small car on the freeway, a Volkswagen beetle to be exact, in pretty bad shape with worn tires dented fenders and a dirty windshield. However, what struck me as unusual about it was its license plate. It had a bright new California license plate with the setting sun on it which read "THE COW". The reason this struck me as odd was that why would anyone who had a car as bad as that want to spend that much money on a custom license plate? Maybe they wanted to improve their car, but just gradually, and they started out with that meaning to work their way up. Who knows? Anyways, as I was watching it I saw one of it's tires run over a nail and blow out. While the driver pulled over to the side of the freeway something suddenly happened to my car also and I lost control. For some reason my car started steered to the side of the freeway and screeched to a halt right next to the other car.

After I got out of my car to see what was wrong and found nothing I noticed the woman at her car trying to change the tire and looking quite helpless. I went over to offer my help but then for some strange reason I had a sudden urge to push her down on the ground and jump on her. Which I did. At that very instant "THE COW" (her car) exploded!

"You saved my life!" she said.

"I didn't mean it," I started to say. "I mean, I never really meant to pull over in the first. You see I seemed to have lost control of my car, and my car pulled over by itself."

"Do you expect me to believe that?" she said. "You saved my life, do you want me to do anything for you?"

"No, thank you. I told you it was just coincidence that made this happen in the first place. I don't want anything." "Yes you do," she said, and with that I noticed a slight change in her voice. It became louder and more resounding. Like the guy in the SU 2000 Motor Oil from Shell commercials. "You wish to return to your childhood, to a time when you had no cares or
responsibilities. You want a chance to start over again," she said. "You're right," I replied. "But a lot of other people have that same wish. But why are you telling me this? I can't do anything about it and neither can you. But why dwell on the past?" "Because it is your destiny, your fate to go back and start over again. You enjoy making people happy and now is a time when many people need happiness, or at least a feeling that they are at least better than someone else in this world. They don't need any more people to look up to and idolize, that will only make them feel worse. No, what they need is someone to
be able look down upon and laugh at, and you will be that person." "Thanks heaps," I said. "But no thanks. What's this all about anyways? Are you sure you're all right from what happened to your car and everything? Maybe you hit your head on the dashboard." "I am perfectly fine. But I'm not sure about you. When you wake up you may think this was all a dream, and maybe it is. You may not remember this, you may not even care, but when you wake up, you will be..."

"Wait, I don't think I belong here!" "I already told you, this is your fate! You were meant to drive off..." "No, I mean I thought this was supposed to be a humorous story, not something out of some wild lunatic's fantasies." "Like it or not, you're stuck. Sorry. But anyways let me continue..." "No way, I want out and NOW!" "You're getting paid $100 a word." "As you were saying..." "When you wake up, you will become a 14 year old boy. For you are..." I found myself repeating her words... "For I am... The Cow Exploder!(R) ... and no one is inferior to me." (Sorry I repeated that line, but I like it. It has a nice ring to it.)

Suddenly I woke up, as if from a dream, having the mind and body of a 14 year old boy just as she said. At first I thought it was a dream, but then under my pillow, I found $17,600. Hmmmmmmmmm ... I wonder...

********

The last story is thought by some to precede the first, but, in any case, the latter of the two stories is the one most often accepted as true. In some small, primitive countries, they also believe this story to be some kind of religious literature, and base religions after it. Unfortunately, there have also been found to be other rumors started by some real jerk.

For those of you who are interested in knowing I was not on and type of illegal drugs or anything when I thought of my handle, or, for that matter, this story. Cloves are legal.

********

Miss BadgeBunny, sorry this is probably not exactly what you wanted to know when you asked for us to tell a little about ourselves, but what the heck! As for how I found the OSA forum, that too is another long story that's best left for another time as it involves travel, crowds, shotguns, and livestock - though not necessarily in that order.

.....WhaT???

 

[cammeroonee]

I am only here for spata's gif posts
20 posts in 7 1/2 years not bad if i must say

 

[b.allen]

Been here since 2009. Heard about it from a friend. I like to read and get a bunch of info from here. I just don't talk a whole lot is why my post count is low. I'm on here almost everyday though.

 

[BadgeBunny]

One last bump before this afternoon ...

 

[BadgeBunny]

I read almost daily but will rarely post. Found after glock talk surf one day.

Well, this is what happens when your darling husband leaves you asleep on the sofa and goes off to work ... You miss your self-imposed deadline ...

Ahhh, well ...

Still better late than never, huh??

Rugerdude, you have a PM coming your way ... And danggit ... You guys POST MORE ...

Please and thank you!!

ETA: Good grief, I really need to proofread before I post ... Rugerdude is the happy new owner of a $20 Academy gift card ... Courtesy of OSA ...

And oh, yeah ... THIS contest is now officially over ...

 

[FamousAJ]

Been here since 2009. Heard about it from a friend. I like to read and get a bunch of info from here. I just don't talk a whole lot is why my post count is low. I'm on here almost everyday though.

 

[870WingBlaster]

There are two theories of the origin of The Cow Exploder, of the two I know not which is true. The first goes thus:

********

One day while I was still living on the farm with my parents the farm animals, I was called upon to go out and sell our cows in town for money. An odd-looking man came up to me, offering beans that he said were magical. "No way!" I said. "I'm not that stupid!" and continued my way to town.

I succeeded in selling only two of our three cows, but that was ok I thought because we would still need one for milk and other things. While I was buying a few other items in town I let the cow graze in the wide open fields bordering the stores which, unknown to me, was near a nuclear plant that was leaking radiation into the fields.

Soon it was time to come home, which I proceeded to do. As I led the cow back I noticed something unusual about it but I couldn't tell exactly what it was. Funny, though the sun had set over an hour prior it still seemed bright. Anyways, it was a beautiful red sunset.

That night I was tired and slept soundly. When the next morning came and I went out to feed and milk the cow there was a very odd look in the cow's eyes. Suddenly it came up to me and bit me, and in the very next second it exploded.

When I finally regained consciousness, I looked around me and saw a terrible sight. The farm and everything on it was devastated. Crops were still burning from the explosion and the bodies of my parents sat smoking in the ashes. As I looked over the farm the house and the bodies, I wept. I was scared and I didn't know what to do. "Why them?" I thought. "Why not me? What spared my life? What did I do to deserve this?"

Mad at myself and the world I felt I had to strike out at something to relieve my anger. I hit a part of dead tree that was torn off in the explosion. The result? I struck oil. Puzzled by this and everything that happened that day I started to run, and fast. After about 30 seconds and 3/4 of a mile I saw, in the distance, a cow explosion. Suddenly as if in realization of what had happened to me I thought "I now posses strange powers, and whenever I use them, a cow explodes. I can use my powers to help people, and use them I will. For I am ... The Cow Exploder! ... and no one is inferior to me."

********

Another story, thought also to be true and to precede the previous story is as follows:

One day as I was driving home from work (home at that time was simply a small apartment with $500 a month rent) I noticed a small car on the freeway, a Volkswagen beetle to be exact, in pretty bad shape with worn tires dented fenders and a dirty windshield. However, what struck me as unusual about it was its license plate. It had a bright new California license plate with the setting sun on it which read "THE COW". The reason this struck me as odd was that why would anyone who had a car as bad as that want to spend that much money on a custom license plate? Maybe they wanted to improve their car, but just gradually, and they started out with that meaning to work their way up. Who knows? Anyways, as I was watching it I saw one of it's tires run over a nail and blow out. While the driver pulled over to the side of the freeway something suddenly happened to my car also and I lost control. For some reason my car started steered to the side of the freeway and screeched to a halt right next to the other car.

After I got out of my car to see what was wrong and found nothing I noticed the woman at her car trying to change the tire and looking quite helpless. I went over to offer my help but then for some strange reason I had a sudden urge to push her down on the ground and jump on her. Which I did. At that very instant "THE COW" (her car) exploded!

"You saved my life!" she said.

"I didn't mean it," I started to say. "I mean, I never really meant to pull over in the first. You see I seemed to have lost control of my car, and my car pulled over by itself."

"Do you expect me to believe that?" she said. "You saved my life, do you want me to do anything for you?"

"No, thank you. I told you it was just coincidence that made this happen in the first place. I don't want anything." "Yes you do," she said, and with that I noticed a slight change in her voice. It became louder and more resounding. Like the guy in the SU 2000 Motor Oil from Shell commercials. "You wish to return to your childhood, to a time when you had no cares or
responsibilities. You want a chance to start over again," she said. "You're right," I replied. "But a lot of other people have that same wish. But why are you telling me this? I can't do anything about it and neither can you. But why dwell on the past?" "Because it is your destiny, your fate to go back and start over again. You enjoy making people happy and now is a time when many people need happiness, or at least a feeling that they are at least better than someone else in this world. They don't need any more people to look up to and idolize, that will only make them feel worse. No, what they need is someone to
be able look down upon and laugh at, and you will be that person." "Thanks heaps," I said. "But no thanks. What's this all about anyways? Are you sure you're all right from what happened to your car and everything? Maybe you hit your head on the dashboard." "I am perfectly fine. But I'm not sure about you. When you wake up you may think this was all a dream, and maybe it is. You may not remember this, you may not even care, but when you wake up, you will be..."

"Wait, I don't think I belong here!" "I already told you, this is your fate! You were meant to drive off..." "No, I mean I thought this was supposed to be a humorous story, not something out of some wild lunatic's fantasies." "Like it or not, you're stuck. Sorry. But anyways let me continue..." "No way, I want out and NOW!" "You're getting paid $100 a word." "As you were saying..." "When you wake up, you will become a 14 year old boy. For you are..." I found myself repeating her words... "For I am... The Cow Exploder!(R) ... and no one is inferior to me." (Sorry I repeated that line, but I like it. It has a nice ring to it.)

Suddenly I woke up, as if from a dream, having the mind and body of a 14 year old boy just as she said. At first I thought it was a dream, but then under my pillow, I found $17,600. Hmmmmmmmmm ... I wonder...

********

The last story is thought by some to precede the first, but, in any case, the latter of the two stories is the one most often accepted as true. In some small, primitive countries, they also believe this story to be some kind of religious literature, and base religions after it. Unfortunately, there have also been found to be other rumors started by some real jerk.

For those of you who are interested in knowing I was not on and type of illegal drugs or anything when I thought of my handle, or, for that matter, this story. Cloves are legal.

********

Miss BadgeBunny, sorry this is probably not exactly what you wanted to know when you asked for us to tell a little about ourselves, but what the heck! As for how I found the OSA forum, that too is another long story that's best left for another time as it involves travel, crowds, shotguns, and livestock - though not necessarily in that order.

Hmmm.....

 

[steelfingers]

Just found OSA by google search of forum in Oklahma. Have only been on this site for a very short time (less than a month) and have 20 post. Don't think this will keep up as it's new and finding things new every day. Have read so many post that are good but I have nothing to add to the conversations that has not been addressed better. Still learing the rules like when are you no longer a newcomer and when I get to do more. Time will tell, but love the site and hope it keeps growing.

 

[greyBeered]

I'd be surprised if I have more than 100. Been on here since 2009. Not much to say. Too many boards, too little time.