Just wonder if this ever came up for anyone else here... How would you deal with a father or grandfather who's mental state is deteriorating?
Do you take away their guns? Hide bullets?
Do you take away their guns? Hide bullets?
It depends - can you get him, in his lucid times, to agree to voluntarily surrender his weapons/ammo access to a trusted family member? That is the preferable method.
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Take the guns. Seriously. You will be averting a potential tragedy. It's not a comfortable thing to do, but necessary.
I agree take the guns. Its kind of the same situation as taking the car keys away.
With my dad, we handled it the same way we did taking his keys: we just did it, and told him (when he asked) that they had been gone a long time, he didn't use them anymore. Yeah, it was kind of taking advantage of his failing memory, but it worked out without any undue arguing.
Hey guys - I understand both responses above but it really does depend on the state/type of dementia - how far gone is the person and what symptoms does he have. A person who has failing memory would probably be dealt with differently than one who is hallucinating or violent or in rapid decline.
I went though this last year (almost exactly). As JB says, its serious business.
I took the guns in broad daylight with him watching/supervising. I considered leaving guns and no ammo - but ammo is easy to get.
I bought a special safe for his guns at my place. When dad is over sometimes I get one or two out to let him know that I wont sell them and that they are still his. This seems to help a bit - but every man is different.
Violating the will of an elder is a hard thing for a well-raised adult child to do. But sometimes it has to be done. I ignored all the other relatives advice until I saw a few things for myself that needed to be changed (anger, violent talk, etc).
I took the guns in broad daylight with him watching/supervising. I considered leaving guns and no ammo - but ammo is easy to get.
I bought a special safe for his guns at my place. When dad is over sometimes I get one or two out to let him know that I wont sell them and that they are still his. This seems to help a bit - but every man is different.
Violating the will of an elder is a hard thing for a well-raised adult child to do. But sometimes it has to be done. I ignored all the other relatives advice until I saw a few things for myself that needed to be changed (anger, violent talk, etc).
We just disabled the guns. pull firing pins and such. It let him know we were not trying to steal from him but we needed to ensure his safety.
If they are getting in bad spots do this quick, I know we decided to do this to late. We got lucky and he couldn't pick his shells back up after he dropped them trying to end his pain his self.
If they are getting in bad spots do this quick, I know we decided to do this to late. We got lucky and he couldn't pick his shells back up after he dropped them trying to end his pain his self.
I agree.
Take the carrier groups, the bolts, the cylinders, etc., etc. Make them paper weights and door stops.
If they ask when you did it, lie.
My Dad was getting really bad and was always talking about he didn't want to be a burden on us. I then took all his guns while he wasn't watching and later when he told me he couldn't find his 22 I told him that he had ask me to take it home. He of course told me to bring it back the next trip and I just always forgot. He would ask about it nearly every visit but didn't seem to get upset when I would forget. He was just really sick with cancer..his mental health was great right up until the day he died.
