I Think My Mother is Going Senile

[jakeman]

My mom is 93. She is staying with my niece currently. It’s her 6 month turn. She was with me for a little over 6 months, and frustrating is the correct word. Some days it’s maddening, but she never wanted to be put in a home, so we’re not going to do that. She’ll be back here sometime in June. It’s a handful, and that’s a fact. She hasn’t been able to live on her own since Thanksgiving of 2019.

Lots to tell, but I’ll skip it here and say it’s a lot like taking care of a toddler. We have a big board with her “to do’s” like medicine and daily hygiene, and without it she won’t do it, including eating. She can still tell the stories from her youth, the same ones I’ve been hearing for 60 years, but she can’t remember if she ate breakfast. The technology thing is something all together different. I had to take her email off the phone, and made it so she can only get or send texts from contacts. She’ll click on anything that anyone sends her, including scams.

Patience is what it takes, and sometimes as caregivers it’s hard to find enough, but ya get thru it. We have a durable POA, and all of her assets are in a trust.

I can tell you this, I don’t want to live that long.

Be patient. Be loving. Be kind. Those things are needed by the bushel, and I won’t lie, sometimes it’s difficult.

 

[Shadowrider]

My step dad just passed in January. He was extremely stubborn and it took a fall and resulting brain bleed to get him into an ER and then an assisted living facility. They found he had more than one brain bleed from falls prior to this one too. I personally called police for a well person check on two different occasions because EMSA was here every week and a couple of times they were here twice on the same day! They knew him by name. They would always want to get him to get checked out but he was a retired LEO and knew what to say and he always refused. Until he had no choice that is.

He was there for just over a year and after several more falls and another brain bleed he had to go to a memory care facility. Dementia is a horrible thing. He could remember things in the long past but didn't even know if he'd had lunch that day much less what it was.

My mother will have to go to assisted living at some point. Her vision is so bad she's basically blind and she needs a cane or walker to motor around the house some days. She's just unable to do many of the things we all have to do for daily living without assistance. I ain't looking forward to that day but I can see light in the tunnel. It's gonna suck...

 

[dennishoddy]

We had been dealing with FIL in his 80's having dementia. The last year and a half of a 3 year journey in a memory care unit before passing away a year ago.
He started with falling a lot forgetting he had to use a walker, or he would start out across the room on the way to the bathroom with his walker and then thinking he could ditch it and walk normal. Hitting his head typically MIL would have to call the ambulance. After the second call, LEO showed up at the home and asked Don if MIL caused his injuries, basically accusing an 83 year old woman with scoliosis and barely able to walk herself of assault.
LEO came out to the house the next day after the second incident saying if it happened again, the state would come in take charge of Don, putting him where they wanted and forcing her to pay.
They had been paying for long term care for many years previous and it took a mountain of discussion before MIL would agree to put FIL in memory care. She moved into the same facility in assisted living so she could be with him daily although in separate rooms/areas within the facility.
Lots of research going on currently about what causes dementia/Alsheimer's with treatments being developed. Lets hope this horrible disease is cured or at least mitigated.

 

[foghorn918]

There is a new drug out for treatment of Alzheimer's, but Medicare won't pay for it. It's over $50K per year which prices it out of reach for the people who could benefit from it.
https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/biogens-new-alzheimers-drug-will-cost-$56000-per-year-2021-06-07

 

[bigred1]

She's your Mom.....you should never be too busy to lend a hand. Wish I still could with mine.

 

[foghorn918]

Dementia caused by Alzheimer's is also called the long goodbye. It is a terrible disease. We went through it with my wife's father, and now with my wife. She was diagnosed in 2017. Hers seems to be progressing slowly so far. Some days we play 20 questions, but it's the same question 20 times in a row. I pray daily for patience and the wisdom to make the best decisions for her.
This is not the retirement we thought we were planning for.

 

[NomDeBoom]

ACHTUNG::::If you're Mom is taking ANY form of Statins (highly over-prescribed meds for "High Cholesterol", then get her off of them immediately. Cholesterol is what our brains are made up of, and what regulates our hormones.
Both of my parents went into rapid mental decline due to Statins (& other meds) advocated by my (ex)sister, (an asst. nursing professor).
Get your Mother off the crap, & give her Turmeric (among many other health benefits, it dissolves brain plaque...mx'd w/ black pepper to potentiate the effects). Used to be pretty cheap at East Indian Mkts.
Also Colostrum ('1st Milk' from cows) is highly beneficial. PM me if you'd like me to expound.
Or just do your own research. God Bless Our Folks- God knows where we'd be w/ 'em.

 

[Roadking Larry]

Those of us that have dealt with loved ones inflicted with Alzheimer's understand how devastating the disease is. Remembering who they are despite what the disease is doing to them can be hard but it's a coping method.

 

[GnometownHero]

My mom is 93. She is staying with my niece currently. It’s her 6 month turn. She was with me for a little over 6 months, and frustrating is the correct word. Some days it’s maddening, but she never wanted to be put in a home, so we’re not going to do that. She’ll be back here sometime in June. It’s a handful, and that’s a fact. She hasn’t been able to live on her own since Thanksgiving of 2019.

Lots to tell, but I’ll skip it here and say it’s a lot like taking care of a toddler. We have a big board with her “to do’s” like medicine and daily hygiene, and without it she won’t do it, including eating. She can still tell the stories from her youth, the same ones I’ve been hearing for 60 years, but she can’t remember if she ate breakfast. The technology thing is something all together different. I had to take her email off the phone, and made it so she can only get or send texts from contacts. She’ll click on anything that anyone sends her, including scams.

Patience is what it takes, and sometimes as caregivers it’s hard to find enough, but ya get thru it. We have a durable POA, and all of her assets are in a trust.

I can tell you this, I don’t want to live that long.

Be patient. Be loving. Be kind. Those things are needed by the bushel, and I won’t lie, sometimes it’s difficult.

Things that help
Play music from the time era of your mother's teen to 30 years, the brain responds to it. It can help a bad day go better.
Brain food, small high protein, nuts, smoked fish, sprouts, micro greens, fruit. Make snack time fun and visually attractive.
Card games like uno, hearts, Gin Rummy, playing with pre teens is particularly effective for attention span improvement
Eliminate clutter or complicated situations, too many people, too much chaos.
art projects like coloring books, water colors, etc with period music is pretty good refocus time, gardening flowers and veggies helps focus
zen level patience of family members and caregivers is essential
CBD, read up on microdosing and edibles, topical rub, it can really help

 

[aarondhgraham]

Just smile and give her the help she requires.

After all,,,
She once taught you how to use a spoon.

Aarond

.