Don't make excuses for you brother. I know a guy that was released from prison in May and had a job two weeks later. I gave him a bicycle, he learned the bus route and figured out how to commute. He is still employed.
Don't make excuses for you brother. I know a guy that was released from prison in May and had a job two weeks later. I gave him a bicycle, he learned the bus route and figured out how to commute. He is still employed.
I know Im not answering your question but the part in bold is interesting. Would your brother be in this rut if the bold was not true? If you mom was still able then would she be willing? I dont know your situation but it sounds like your mom has prevented him from hitting the bottom for quite some time.
Bottomline is that no matter what resources are out there he has to want to recover.
Good question. Depends. I mean he may have reached rock bottom awhile ago if she wasnt the safety net. Then again maybe it could have been worse because she didnt step in? Time will tell from this point.
My brothers son sounds just like this dude. He is a phenomenal young man, hard worker, intelligent, good looking, but look out when he's partying. Drinking is our fathers side of the family curse brought with them from the UK 1880s. Dont know if its the Scottish or the Irish in us or what, but the men on my dads side of the family are either teetotalers or 'working' alcoholics. You know, the kind who if theyre working or running a business then they must be good to go so drink on. My mother is well off and has always been the family enabler and Ive heard that she has been getting this kid out of trouble for some years now. It is her money, but Ive told her before when she was helping someone else that she really wasnt helping someone when she helped them get out of their troubles over and over with her money or influence, contacts, etc.
Being a musician and an artist I know some creative talented people who make great art but they also sound just like this guy. I have alot of friends who have gotten in trouble over the years and they either took care of it themselves like a man should and got help and turned things around or they didnt and ended up on the streets. Some friends have been thru the prison system, federal state or county, then came out and went to work on themselves and some were very successful afterwards and some just repeated the cycle a few more times before it worked. Not a lie when they say sometimes you have to hit bottom to really want to change sometimes but then maybe a person could decide its time to change early if they only had themselves to take care of themselves. Meaning, if his source of help cut him off he would have to do for hisself.
I would help store his car and belongings, if any, in storage. Go to court with him when I could. Then if he gets some jail time go and visit. And then when they get out offer rides and an ear to listen but not provide any money or my place to stay. Be there, but on the sideline. He has to do the work hisself.
I remember seeing a bit on one of those TV entertainment news shows about a guy in Texas who was homeless and a drunk and his sister is the singer Madonna. He used to work for her at one time then he got all fcked up and in trouble a bunch of times and she finally got fed up with him and cut him from her life and they havent spoke now in years. Sad.
Being a musician and an artist I know some creative talented people who make great art but they also sound just like this guy. I have alot of friends who have gotten in trouble over the years and they either took care of it themselves like a man should and got help and turned things around or they didnt and ended up on the streets. Some friends have been thru the prison system, federal state or county, then came out and went to work on themselves and some were very successful afterwards and some just repeated the cycle a few more times before it worked. Not a lie when they say sometimes you have to hit bottom to really want to change sometimes but then maybe a person could decide its time to change early if they only had themselves to take care of themselves. Meaning, if his source of help cut him off he would have to do for hisself.
I would help store his car and belongings, if any, in storage. Go to court with him when I could. Then if he gets some jail time go and visit. And then when they get out offer rides and an ear to listen but not provide any money or my place to stay. Be there, but on the sideline. He has to do the work hisself.
I remember seeing a bit on one of those TV entertainment news shows about a guy in Texas who was homeless and a drunk and his sister is the singer Madonna. He used to work for her at one time then he got all fcked up and in trouble a bunch of times and she finally got fed up with him and cut him from her life and they havent spoke now in years. Sad.
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shouldn't be worried about that,getting his car out is just more enabling. let him lose his car, his home , his comfort or regain it on his own. time for him to be responsible for all those thing. sink or swim don't do another thing for him or he will never change
Been through it with a family member and this is true. Hard to watch it unfold, but there it is. It's got to be something he wants. No other way really.
Thanks everyone. I think we beat a dead horse horse here in a good way. There is a common consensus here and that advice will be followed. Thanks for replying and the PMs. I have been emialing my mom and sharing with her the corresponding responses. Going forward she will not assist him. I am sure more threads will be created when additional steps happen. Once again thank you everyone.
I hope he gets his head screwed on straight and cleans up his act. Good luck to you.
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