old timer sayings

[Glock 'em down]

I could literally quote them old sayings all day long, but here are a few of my faves...

I've seen better heads on a nickel glass of beer.
It's colder outside than a mother in law's kiss.
He's as ugly as a modern art masterpiece.
He's as dumb as a mule, and twice as ugly.
Somebody sent that gal to haul ass and she got a double load.
She's so ugly, she fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch.
It's darker in here than the inside of an ape's ass.

Like I said...I could go on and on.

 

[Bahick71]

That's messed up like a tipped over tackle box
That's messed up like a Soup sandwich
A couple of my grandpas favorites, he had many, most can't be repeated
Here, lol

 

[hipshot]

Well I’ll be John Brown

 

[HillsideDesolate]

Fools names and fools faces all show up in public places.

He needs to stand a little closer to the soap.

 

[SoonerP226]

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
He's useless as teats on a boar.
Why did the Good Lord make so many more horses asses than horses to attach them to?

 

[Glock 'em down]

A couple of my grandpas favorites, he had many, most can't be repeated
Here, lol

Them is usually the best kind.

 

[bigred1]

Tennessee Ernie Ford...."if the good Lord's willing and the creeks don't rise".

 

[undeg01]

We’re on the short rows now.
The feathers haven’t hit the floor of the hen house yet.

 

[foghorn918]

That boy could F up a ball bearing

 

[trbii]

He could f up a steel ball.
Boy, you are thick. (headed)
She‘s got freckles on her, but she’s pretty.
He’s fat as the town dog. (First time we watched the old P.I. tv show, Cannon, 1972?)
It’s crooked as a dogs‘ hind leg.
He’s got enough money to burn a wet mule.
He’ll never amount to nothing. A thug. (Another observation from my dad, came true about a boy I grew up around, back on the block, went to prison, died early, shamed his family horribly).