Practical Jokes - Serve em up here!

[Decoligny]

Worked with an Air Force Captain back in the late 80s who was a total “@$$hat”.
Nobody liked him.
He thought if you were lower ranking, you were scum, if you were female you should be in his Air Force, and if you weren’t a W.A.S.P., you were scum.
He was informed that he had an assignment and was thrilled.
That is until we created his replacement.
2nd Lt, Juanita Mendoza.
We cut a fake set of orders and put together a box of personal items for her desk.
We also cut a fake set of leave paperwork for her going to Mexico to visit family.
This Captain spent a week at Edwards AFB, (our base), then a week at Kirkland AFB, then a week at Vandenburg AFB in rotation as all three were critically involved in the project he worked on.
We had Lt Mendoza at meetings at Vandenburg while the Captain was at Kirkland, and had her at Kirkland when he was at Edwards.
We spent two months keeping them away from each other. Had people at all three bases involved, referencing how great Lt Mendoza was. Had a Colonel tell him that she was in the same Air Force Academy class as his son, and she was “going places”.
The Captain was talking in the hallway to his boss Lt Col Novak, about something he wanted to have done. He told him that he had cleared it with Lt Mendoza. I had to walk away to keep from laughing.

At the Captain’s going away ceremony, (everyone got one, liked or not), the Project Director told the Captain that he wanted to introduce someone. He said “Lt Mendoza, please stand up.”
The people stood up, Lt Col Novak, Maj Kieth, and myself.
The Captain knew he’d been played, but couldn’t make a scene. That didn’t stop his face from turning red as a beet.

 

[RETOKSQUID]

Another liquid ass one. Taped a bottle of it to my CO's chair so every time he sat down it sprayed. Swear I didn't know the division officers meeting would be in his office instead of the conference room.

 

[Snattlerake]

Another liquid ass one. Taped a bottle of it to my CO's chair so every time he sat down it sprayed. Swear I didn't know the division officers meeting would be in his office instead of the conference room.

Did they discover or just put up with it?

 

[RETOKSQUID]

Did they discover or just put up with it?

They had no idea . CO said which ever one of you rotten assholes keeps doing that, stop!

Got worse, one of the JOs was a sympathetic puker, just needed to hear someone wretch and it was all over. So of course that was taken advantage of right away on the other side of the door.

 

[turkeyrun]

In HS, English teacher asked me to take her van to auto shop for plugs change. While in the shop, rewired the volume control on the radio through the gas pedal.

Next day, she says the van runs smooth, but she couldn't go over 30 mph because of the loudness.

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A co-worker could not stay awake during night shift. As long as you weren't in a sleeping position, supervisor would shake you awake and make you walk outside.

Several nights and boss was fed up. He came through Control Room and Larry was asleep in desk chair; head dropped back and mouth wide open.

Boss hands me a bottle of hand lotion and says to give Larry a squirt, at same time boss steps in close and unzips his pants.

I give a full squirt, Larry sputters and boss jumps back, zipping his pants.

12 others laughing, as Larry runs down the hall, gagging.

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Had a hunting buddy that was extremely scared of snakes.

We were duck hunting, unusually warm weekend. We put a rubber snake against the middle seat in our Jon boat. Tied mono fishing line to it and run the line to the corner of our blind.

We had several ducks down and suggested Rodney go pick them up. He starts paddling out and the snake crawls up his leg. He screams like a 4 year old, grabs his shotgun and blasts the snake with 3 rounds of 3" 12 gauge. He turns to see us laughing, as the Titanic slowly sinks.

Luckily, the water from the blind to the bank was less than knee deep. Rodney never figured out the snake wasn't real.

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We had a refrigerator scrounge at work. Food was constantly disappearing. After my lunch vanished ONCE, I took some dark walnut stain, mixed in jalapeño juice and soaked saw dust. Stirred in some wood glue and formed some "brownies". Soaked in some more pepper juice. Took to work and put a small plate in the refrigerator.
It wasn't long and we hear a commotion in the kitchen. New Boss is guzzling water, spitting up in the sink, sweating profusely and cussing loudly, "those are the hottest, nastiest tasting brownies. Who eats that shirt? Those MFrs are F****** HOT!"

A co-worker (a sweet, grandmother) says, "well, evidently they aren't yours!. If it ain't yours, don't f*****g touch it."

He forever thought she set him up and we never had another disappearance.

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Lastly

In HS, one of the cheerleaders was always asking everybody around, if they had any gum.

Show up for History final exam. She is bumming gum. Someone gave her a box of Chicklets. She chews the entire box.
About halfway through class, she jumps and runs. Didn't make it.

At graduation, as she walked the stage, several called out, "do you want some gum?"

 

[bpshooter]

I bet we know some of the same folks. People that haven't worked in a glass plant think some of the stories are BS. I work with a guy that spent 14 years at BC during the same time I was at Liberty. Our co-workers will hear us talking about some insanely hot/dangerous event and just shake their heads. (I was batch/furnace guy)

I spent 11 years there as well in the mold shop. Ohh the stories we could tell.

 

[Boehlertaught]

One of the engineers hid a small random beep thing in the IT programmer guys office. Over numerous days the beep annoyed him a lot. After a week of randomly turning off various machines in his office I heard him scream he had had enough and unplugged everything in his office including his desk lamp. Ha ha. Then he kept screaming when it kept beeping.

 

[Frank Pope]

OK, I want to hear about your best and worst practical jokes you have pulled on others and the ones pulled on you.

The old tie wrap on the driveshaft at work to a co work or something extremely elaborate.

You could also tell us about the ones you have heard of and not participated in.

When I was a kid, a neighbor bought a Renault Dauphine which was the lastest thing circa 1959. He was always bragging about what great car it was and what good mileage it got (around 39 mpg combined). After listening to this for a few weeks, my dad and another neighbor started sneaking into his driveway at night and adding gas to the tank. Soon, the neighbor was crowing that he got 42, 48, 54 mpg. Then when he topped out @ 62 mpg, dad and the other neighbor started siphoning gas out of his tank. Mileage sank until it was 6 mpg. The owner was @ the dealer going crazy and of course, they could never find anything wrong. I don't think dad ever confessed, but at least he didn't have to hear any more raving about Renaults. He never owned a foreign car and liked it that way.

 

[Snattlerake]

One of the engineers hid a small random beep thing in the IT programmer guys office. Over numerous days the beep annoyed him a lot. After a week of randomly turning off various machines in his office I heard him scream he had had enough and unplugged everything in his office including his desk lamp. Ha ha. Then he kept screaming when it kept beeping.

I can relate having worked around bad smoke detectors.

 

[SoonerP226]

When I was a kid, a neighbor bought a Renault Dauphine which was the lastest thing circa 1959. He was always bragging about what great car it was and what good mileage it got (around 39 mpg combined). After listening to this for a few weeks, my dad and another neighbor started sneaking into his driveway at night and adding gas to the tank. Soon, the neighbor was crowing that he got 42, 48, 54 mpg. Then when he topped out @ 62 mpg, dad and the other neighbor started siphoning gas out of his tank. Mileage sank until it was 6 mpg. The owner was @ the dealer going crazy and of course, they could never find anything wrong. I don't think dad ever confessed, but at least he didn't have to hear any more raving about Renaults. He never owned a foreign car and liked it that way.

My old boss's dad did that to a Beetle owner back in the '70s.