Im not saying this to be adversarial or anything, but I have spent a lot of time solo driving thinking about the "selfish" thing in general. I have come to the conclusion that there really isnt an unselfish side to any discussion/argument.
I was an only child until my half brother moved in with us in my early teens. I can't imagine growing up any other way. My wife was one of four and couldnt imagine growing up any other way. I think the correct answer lies with each house.
I told my wife before we got serious that I had no intention of passing my genetics on and there was little to no flex in my position. She had two truly awesome kids, 5 years apart, and that was enough for me. I stand by the fact that I got to cheat the system. The kids were thoroughly vetted beforehand and no gambling of a genetic slot machine was necessary haha. I can't imagine any kid feeling any more like mine than these two and I get to pass on the parts of me that are worthwhile, my personality haha.
I never had any either, that I know of anyway.
I have a 30 yo stepson. He moved in here when he was 8. His mother has moved on, but he's still here. Not as much as I'd like, but he sees me more than he sees her.
He don't look like me, but he acts like me.
As to the OP, it needs to be a unanimous decision, and I'll just leave it at that.