Beat Texas!

[jstaylor62]

Kilgore: Smell that? You smell that?
Lance: What?
Kilgore: Corn Dogs, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.
Kilgore: I love the smell of Corn Dogs in the morning. You know, one time we had a game for 6 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' longhorn body. The smell, you know that peanut oil smell, the whole stadium. Smelled like...victory
Kilgore: Someday this rivaly's gonna end...

 

[n423]

An UT grad was swirling from left to right on the road in his car. He was doing this for five minutes. Finally a cop pulls over and asks him, "Sir, why are you swirling from left to right?"

The UT grad replies, "Well officer I was driving along when I saw a tree. I had to move left until I saw another tree. Practically everywhere I went, I saw a tree and I had to keep turning."





Then the cop said, "Sir, that's your air freshener."



GO SOONERS!!

 

[Blinocac200sx]

Albert Einstein goes to a party. He introduces himself to a lady and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?".........."240," she says. "Great, we can discuss the mysteries of the universe and other things. We have a lot we can talk about " he replies. Later he is talking with a man and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"......."145," he replies. "Great, we can talk about thermodynamics," says Albert. Later he is talking to another gentleman and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?........"43," the man manages to say. Einstein gets a puzzled look on his face for a minute then says, "How about them Longhorns?"

 

[Blinocac200sx]

Mack Brown dies and goes to heaven. Once there Saint Peter shows him his house. It's a 1950's ranch style in white with burnt orange trim, longhorn flags on the porch, and a well manicured lawn. He says to Saint Peter, "This is pretty nice." However, he starts looking around and notices a large crimson and cream mansion with a great walkway in the middle of the lawn made of rubies and diamonds. The doors are huge and have an O and a U painted on the outside. Seeing this, Mack asks "Why is Bob Stoops' place so much nicer than mine?" Saint Peter replies "I'm sorry but you're mistaken, that's God's house."