Dumbest thing ever said to wife or significant other

[Hooligan]

A few years back my ex-wife and I were at a Christmas party and a friend of hers came up and asked me what I love most in the world, without missing a beat I said "Guns, motorcycles, and tattoos". I had no idea she (my wife at the time) was standing behind me. She brought it up in the divorce 5 years later.

 

[Cohiba]

The time I said "Watch this"!!! I've got a few relatives in Southern California, and my relative's kids...my little cousins...love to skateboard.

One time in the Fall, we were visiting and they drained the swimming pool..the younger kids took advantage of this with their skateboards.

Well, watching them, I thought I could do that also. Yea right, me at 48 trying to go up and down the sides of a swimming pool on a skateboard.

"Watch this"!!!


No broken bones....but there were a few patches of missing skin, bumps and bruises, bloody nose, and my hurt pride.


Now when I'm getting ready to do something my wife thinks is stupid, all she has to say is..."Remember the watch this episode, you're ready to do that again".



Cohiba

 

[YakBasser]

Dont even remember what was going on, but Im now divorced and My Daughters and I still joke about it from time to time. All I said was " well whoopty frickin DO" and that set her off more than anything else I had ever seen. Learned My lesson.

 

[ratski]

OH, man. there are soooooooo many.

Probably the worst was when we were single. I was not a commitment kind of person and had no idea what a real relationship was at that time. I said that I could fully understand how someone could get into a really serious argument with their wife right before going on a business trip and then sleep with someone else while they were so mad.

That was 30 years ago and.......


Dave

 

[Woody's Janitor]

My wife got PO'ed when I blurted out while she was with her friends: You sure got a purdy mouth! I got the look from hades along with a stinging lecture for the next two hours. She can't take a joke.

 

[Wheel Gun]

Luckily we were alone at the time. Early in our marriage, I made some innocent comment about how attractive her sister was. I meant it to be a compliment for her sister, her, heck for her whole family. I thought she'd agree and it would be just a happy conversation.

Boy, did she take that wrong.

 

[smax]

Several posts on here lately have made me wonder if anyone besides me has ever made a comment that you regretted but said it without engaging brain.
My worst (or best) was with my 1st wife. We were watching an interview with Rachel Welch. My then wife said " I hope I look as good as her when I'm her age". And without thinking and before I could stop myself, I said " hell, you don't look that good now"!
OOPS!
Anyone else live to tell after making a comment like that?

I don't know why, but I'm writing that one down LOL

 

[vicious]

I do this stuff all the time. I'm really dumb when it comes to speaking with my wife. Early in my relationship, we'll have been married 17 years next month, my wife was going to tell me she loved me for the first time. Being macho, I stopped her and said, "I don't want you to say something I can't reciprocate", even though I had already told others I loved her. She still brings it up from time to time. Then just last night, she went into the kitchen and came back with a bowl of what I thought was ice cream. I asked her what it was, and she said it was some of what we had for dinner. I proceeded to put my foot in my mouth by saying, "oh, I thought it was something good". For the record, dinner was awesome, but it wasn't ice cream!

 

[waltham41]

This is an easy one.

I am not a flirty kind of guy, it goes right over my head. Shortly after I married my wife, I was in walmart and a foxy stacked blonde came up to me and started flirting and even my dumb butt was smart enough to realise it.

Sure not something that happens to me every day, so my brain kicked into neutral. The wife walked up to me upon seeing the cutie and me talking, and I said " Just a minute sis, I will be ready to go"

Took me a VERY long time to get out of the dog house on that one... did I mention my wife is a redhead?

 

[beast1989]

I do this stuff all the time. I'm really dumb when it comes to speaking with my wife. Early in my relationship, we'll have been married 17 years next month, my wife was going to tell me she loved me for the first time. Being macho, I stopped her and said, "I don't want you to say something I can't reciprocate", even though I had already told others I loved her. She still brings it up from time to time. Then just last night, she went into the kitchen and came back with a bowl of what I thought was ice cream. I asked her what it was, and she said it was some of what we had for dinner. I proceeded to put my foot in my mouth by saying, "oh, I thought it was something good". For the record, dinner was awesome, but it wasn't ice cream!

This sounds like my type of humor daily haha, thank god my lady can take it in stride and dish it back a little.

This is an easy one.

I am not a flirty kind of guy, it goes right over my head. Shortly after I married my wife, I was in walmart and a foxy stacked blonde came up to me and started flirting and even my dumb butt was smart enough to realise it.

Sure not something that happens to me every day, so my brain kicked into neutral. The wife walked up to me upon seeing the cutie and me talking, and I said " Just a minute sis, I will be ready to go"

Took me a VERY long time to get out of the dog house on that one... did I mention my wife is a redhead?

Really??? I dont think your brain was in neutral, that sounds like an engine failure. lol