Dumbest thing ever said to wife or significant other

[badrinker]

My wife was b!tchin' about needing to get "in shape". I quickly told her "round is a shape".


She was pretty good about that one actually, taking it as the joke it was. And for the record, I didn't invent that joke, I had heard it elsewhere prior to repeating it to her.

 

[HMFIC]

15 Years ago this May, dumbest thing ever said to my EX-wife.

I said:

"I Do"

 

[imasoonerfan]

"I do" Man I could be a free man, but nooooooo I had to go and fall in love.

I second that!!

 

[Stan Upchurch]

My wife did not know how to cook when we got married. The first bisquits she made were hard as a rock. I knocked on one of them and said" knock , knock, I know you're in there... come out." I took over cooking and washing the dishes for a week. She got me back though. She took some hot dogs out of the freezer and used only 2 of them. She then refroze the rest. One week later I suggested we have hot dogs for supper... Yea, tomain poisoning. I was sick for 3 days. Now 44 years later she is the best cook I know.

 

[Tyson C.]

well my best was just the day before the wedding, not really thinking about that...

my wife and her friends (bridemaids) came home looking like something horribly wrong, she had a towel on her head and i could tell she was upset. she tried going from the bedroom to the bathroom really quick across the hallway. when i noticed her hair was bleached a lot more than norm and i mean almost white....i said "whats up Eminem" with in that milsec of it leaving my mouth, that is when her and all the bridesmaids went ape **** on me......

 

[Relentless]

"will you marry me?"

 

[orangeRcode]

"will you marry me?"

Agreed

 

[Bigman405]

Once, early in our marriage, my wife and I were in a squabble over something, I don't recall what.

She asked me at one point, "Why can't you just try to see this from my perspective?"

My ill chosen repy:

"Because I am not limber enough to get my head that far up my butt."

The conflict escalated at that point.

It's hard to get me laugh out loud, but after I read this, I cracked up laughing.

 

[ExtremistPullup]

we were about to go out to dinner

my wife -"I look like crap"
me- "that's ok"

 

[Fyrtwuck]

When my first wife was mad at the kids for any number of things, she'd tell me "you need to talk to YOUR kids".

They were always "MY" kids when they were in trouble. My reply always got me in trouble.

"Hey, It's not my fault they're acting up, it's yours. When I gave them to you, they were perfect. They were damaged in the 9 month manufacturing process."